Soo she finally called me today about the Abilify situation. She said she didn’t like me getting information offline but I explained to her that I didn’t look up things beforehand, I was experiencing a ton of really bad stuff and looked it up after. She says she doesn’t like switching medications around until after I’ve had time to be on the full dose but if I was having those symptoms at 10 mg I really don’t want to be on 15 mg. She said (as I expected) that she didn’t want to start me on anything new right before she was going to go on vacation. So we’re going to try having me just not be on antipsychotics for a month. Hopefully all will be fine and I won’t have any episodes. The Abilify really was not helping me at all and even though she seems unhappy with my choice, I know I was making the best choice for me and my health.
It can be hard for people who don’t experience what we go through to understand our point of view when we have to take med’s. I guess they do the best they can, but if they experienced what we experience they would be more concerned about us.
Exactly. I’m almost certain she thinks I just looked up side effects online and am scaring myself into thinking I have them. And she said she had never heard of any interactions between Zoloft and Abilify but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any, she just hasn’t heard of them. I wish she would just accept that was my experience instead of questioning it.
Just say you can’t tolerate it. They understand that. Saying “internet” to them gets their eyes rolling.
I know how that feels @Anna. Especially with Abilify.
When I told my psychiatrist it was causing intolerable restlessness, agitation, etc he questioned me saying those aren’t listed side effects.
I don’t care what pdocs are told are common side effects from medication, fact is they cause all sorts of problems.
It’s disconcerting to be disbelieved when you are relaying your experience. I feel for you.
Does this sound too aggressive? I’m really just trying to be honest. It’s an email I was planning on sending to my pdoc.
" I don’t like that I don’t feel like you believed me when I am relaying to you my personal experience with the medication. I know what I was experiencing and one of the goals of the new me is to not let others tell me what I am and am not experiencing anymore. If we’re going to establish trust I’ll need you to trust when I say a medication is reacting very badly with me, just like lexapro reacted very poorly with me and we changed medications.
Once on skin medication I lost my sense of taste. It was not a listed side effect and my doctor kept me on it, causing me to have no sense of taste for around 2 months. It made eating unpleasant. As soon as I switched meds my taste came back. I wish my doctor would have believed that the medication was interacting with my body that way so I wouldn’t have had to deal with that.
I’m sharing honest feelings with you and I hope you’re ok with that."
Hate to say it but you don’t know how much this bitch is going to try and control your life. I was going to give abilify another try but to be honest I should avoid it. I’m past my limit I think and should try and work a way out of how to get off these meds. Just seems impossible at times.
Go on then ban 1515151515
I’d keep it short but assertive.
“I can’t tolerate abilify. Period. We need to try another antipsychotic. Just like lexapro when we changed medications”
Ahh too late I sent it.
Haha, ok. I hope the situation gets resolved next month! Good luck Anna! 
When and if I become a prescribing psychologist I will always listen to my patient’s concerns. I won’t care how ridiculous their experience with the medication may sound, I will go with their concerns and find them a different choice.
I feel many people with mental illness are forced on medications that do not work well with their bodies. I think having the right medication can change your life, but being forced to stay on the wrong one can make someone turn against medication completely. I am in a stable enough place to where I could drop Abilify without great worry but many are not and due to this poor Doctor patient trusting of experience those individuals will relapse. Life on the wrong medication is miserable and should not be tolerated at all. Everyone has the right to find a medication that is tolerable by them with the least amount of side effects, and all feedback should be appreciated and taken into account.
Life on all medication
Corrected it for you
hey Anna
I just read an article written by and also about mental health professionals and other highly educated people with scz. I can send you a PDF of it if you want, just private message me. It hits these issues you point out.
I once wrote a paper in an ethics class about this issue of people being forced meds, and it was not the first or last written statement about who really qualifies as incapable of making decisions for their best interest. I take the stance that some are too ill to know what is good for them from bad, and this goes well with your case; you know well what is good and what is bad for your own well-being, and I like to see that you are holding dignity and solidarity in what you have said on this topic.
I myself am treated very respectfully by my current team of practitioners; the pdoc and the psyc and also internist all seem to very much recognize that I am far from stupid. They do not lose sight of how sick I am underneath these bandages, my treatments. It is good, and I have been set up with a new team of practitioners for the city I will be living in for graduate school in a month, got that sorted out today actually.
You should pursue your education in neuroscience. One of my best friends just got his master’s, and I just graduated summa cum laude with a thesis in psychology, an accelerated pseudo-master’s thesis alongside honors undergraduate coursework. I am pursuing a Psy D in clinical psychology, which is very similar to…more like other things are similar to it…but it is like an MD in psychology, it is a doctorate with intense practicum and scholarship is valued more so than research skills. The idea is to read, learn, and apply. Not to read, not really learn, and generate loads. Ph.D. programs in clinical psychology are notorious for not producing good scholars, no, they often just pass classes as easily as they can because they have to do tons of research and then also practicum. I do not care for not actually learning what I am supposed to, and I would rather do than talk about doing when it comes to treating illness. I am very serious about self-care and empowerment and it is my thing, so the practitioner route is right for me.
however, you may find that a PhD in neuroscience or just a MS in it would create a great variety of opportunities. They get good jobs. Neuro is seriously lucrative, with pharma and such. That, and lab rats are easier for socially anxious or introverted or hell, maybe just impatient people, and you seem to be introverted. My first year of college was in neuro, in fact. It wasnt my cup of tea.
I think you would be pleasantly surprised to find that if you get professional training, your voice on these issues which you have lived will be heard. That is how it works with severe mental illness, particularly schizophrenia.
On my own intuition I chose to make every step of my journey public on here- it’s an extreme approach. I could reveal my real name and make this thing go boom unless the site gets erased. Waiting until I am licensed…which will take me at least several years.
I am just letting you know that there is a path for people with intellectual, particularly, academic aptitude like you and me.
Not necessarily. Zoloft changed my life. To this day I experience no side effects from it. It saved me from constant suicidal depression.
You sound like someone who has been forced on medication that is not right for your body for too long and is sick of it. I’m very sorry you feel this way and have been turned off to all meds.
From my own experience, getting off antipsychotics was the biggest turn around for me. It really does differ from person to person, but try not to kick yourself to much and try to be stress free awhile until your mind re adjustices , hope things go well 
That’s interesting what you said about the psyD, I was always wondering what the difference between it and a phD was. I’ve actually heard the opposite, that people with psyD’s aren’t respected as much as those with phD’s. Plus I’d kind of like to be called Doctor 
Right now I’m planning for a bachelor’s in neuroscience, PhD in psychology, and a post doc in psychopharmacology. Then I’ll have a practice in one of those states that allows psychologists to prescribe while doing research.
well yes, many PhD’s bash Psy D’s, but the field is becoming dichotomous with research and practice. So the Psy D is predicted to become more popular, and it’s already quite popular, as almost half of doctorates in psyc are Psy D and not PhD.
Research is 50% science and 50% politics in clinical psychology- a fair thing to state, and a fair and just warning to you. I just did psychotherapy research, and wow, it was maybe 70% politics and 30% science.
Do you ever get to see your psychiatrist face to face?
Yes usually we meet once a week but it’s weird now because I’m home on break and she’s in the area of my school so I can’t go see her as easily. And then she’s going on vacation in June.