This morning I experienced some hell. I had trouble cleaning my bathroom. It is very small and I didn’t use my knee pads so my knees hurt terrible when I got down on my hands and knees to scrub. I started sweating and I made a good bit of noise. I finished and took a shower but I sweat still after though the water was cold. My Alter kept telling me to commit suicide like “you have the right to die” stuff. I was out of my mind from the physical labor which separated me from my thoughts. I was out of my mind and it hurt. I needed sleep too though I’d slept 6 hours. I took a very short nap in the afternoon and took a short walk. I don’t have the right to die: I’m not in constant pain. I’ve got to stop thinking this or I’ll have an accident. I experienced some sanity this evening and enjoyment.
Make the best of the sanity while it lasts. I tend to phase in and out of sanity. But I look forward to those days where it returns. That’s what keeps me going.
Sorry you’re suffering through such a ■■■■ show, I’m glad you could find a little peace tonight
We all have dark thoughts at times. Give yourself a pat on the back that you didn’t allow them to become actions.
How are you feeling now @Jinx ? I hope you got a better night sleep
Hey Jinx, these are just intrusive thoughts, they pop into the head and can cause us to feel bad, it sounds like you dealt with it very well though so well done.
Whenever a person gets a thought like this they should just ignore it if they can or do something to negate it like a chore or maybe instead you could paint a nice picture or write a nice poem,
There are lots of things we can do to take our mind away from these destructive thoughts.
I usually get 8 hours sleep. It’s just not always at night. Thanks for asking.
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