Two schizophrenics walk into a bar


Electrician wants to know if all my wires are right.

I told him ya, but I’m kind of burnt out today.


How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

But he doesn’t really do anything. He just sits there looking at it and he occasionally nods his head and says. “Um-hmm, Um-hmm.”


Q: How many Bipolars does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I LOVE this joke! No, I HATE this joke!!


Who’s better at screwing in light bulbs? A Bi-polar or a schizophrenic?
Neither are perfect at it but they can both sure relate to it’s suffering.


Q: How many OCDs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. But first he has to wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove.


What do schizophrenics eat for lunch?

Word salad!

Omg I’m so funny.


honey, I think I see the light in your eyes.

Is it fluorescent?

More like headlights.

that’s why I always call you, deer.


This is a fun thread. It’s giving me the giggles. Ya gotta just laugh at yourself sometimes. :wink:


I just ate at a Chinese/ German restaurant. A half hour later I was hungry for power.


Why did the schizophrenic cross the road?

He thought he saw a chicken.


but it was a mirror from the passing BMW


A narcissist goes on-line to rate his doctor and writes…

“I’m the best patient he’s ever had.”


The liscence plate read 15151515


stuck, the pickle couldn’t get any action.

He had to take it on the side.



What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew the light bulb.


A horse walks into a bar ,
and the bartender says,

“Why the long face?”


two schizophrenics walk into a bar and one asks the other ‘what are you doing here’

the other person says ‘i thought you’d know’


You guys are hilarious! A lot of clever jokes in this thread! :smile:


A tourist goes into a bar, and there’s a dog sitting in a chair playing poker.

He says, “Is that dog really playing poker?” And the bartender says,
“Yeah, but he’s not too good. Whenever he has a good hand,
he starts wagging his tail.”


Aw god. I don’t get half of the jokes. I need english lessons. :dancing_women: