Two schizophrenics walk into a bar


#21

Electrician wants to know if all my wires are right.

I told him ya, but I’m kind of burnt out today.


#22

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

But he doesn’t really do anything. He just sits there looking at it and he occasionally nods his head and says. “Um-hmm, Um-hmm.”


#23

Q: How many Bipolars does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I LOVE this joke! No, I HATE this joke!!


#24

Who’s better at screwing in light bulbs? A Bi-polar or a schizophrenic?
Neither are perfect at it but they can both sure relate to it’s suffering.


#25

Q: How many OCDs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. But first he has to wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove.


#26

What do schizophrenics eat for lunch?

Word salad!

Omg I’m so funny.


#27

honey, I think I see the light in your eyes.

Is it fluorescent?

More like headlights.

that’s why I always call you, deer.


#28

This is a fun thread. It’s giving me the giggles. Ya gotta just laugh at yourself sometimes. :wink:


#29

I just ate at a Chinese/ German restaurant. A half hour later I was hungry for power.


#30

Why did the schizophrenic cross the road?

He thought he saw a chicken.


#31

but it was a mirror from the passing BMW


#32

A narcissist goes on-line to rate his doctor and writes…

“I’m the best patient he’s ever had.”


#33

The liscence plate read 15151515


#34

stuck, the pickle couldn’t get any action.

He had to take it on the side.


#35

#36

What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew the light bulb.

Oooohh…

A horse walks into a bar ,
and the bartender says,

“Why the long face?”


#37

two schizophrenics walk into a bar and one asks the other ‘what are you doing here’

the other person says ‘i thought you’d know’


#38

You guys are hilarious! A lot of clever jokes in this thread! :smile:


#39

A tourist goes into a bar, and there’s a dog sitting in a chair playing poker.

He says, “Is that dog really playing poker?” And the bartender says,
“Yeah, but he’s not too good. Whenever he has a good hand,
he starts wagging his tail.”


#40

Aw god. I don’t get half of the jokes. I need english lessons. :dancing_women: