Electrician wants to know if all my wires are right.
I told him ya, but I’m kind of burnt out today.
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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.
But he doesn’t really do anything. He just sits there looking at it and he occasionally nods his head and says. “Um-hmm, Um-hmm.”
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Q: How many Bipolars does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I LOVE this joke! No, I HATE this joke!!
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Who’s better at screwing in light bulbs? A Bi-polar or a schizophrenic?
Neither are perfect at it but they can both sure relate to it’s suffering.
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Q: How many OCDs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. But first he has to wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove…wash hands, check stove.
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What do schizophrenics eat for lunch?
Word salad!
Omg I’m so funny.
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honey, I think I see the light in your eyes.
Is it fluorescent?
More like headlights.
that’s why I always call you, deer.
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This is a fun thread. It’s giving me the giggles. Ya gotta just laugh at yourself sometimes. 
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I just ate at a Chinese/ German restaurant. A half hour later I was hungry for power.
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Why did the schizophrenic cross the road?
He thought he saw a chicken.
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but it was a mirror from the passing BMW
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A narcissist goes on-line to rate his doctor and writes…
“I’m the best patient he’s ever had.”
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The liscence plate read 15151515
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stuck, the pickle couldn’t get any action.
He had to take it on the side.
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What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew the light bulb.
Oooohh…
A horse walks into a bar ,
and the bartender says,
“Why the long face?”
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two schizophrenics walk into a bar and one asks the other ‘what are you doing here’
the other person says ‘i thought you’d know’
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You guys are hilarious! A lot of clever jokes in this thread! 
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A tourist goes into a bar, and there’s a dog sitting in a chair playing poker.
He says, “Is that dog really playing poker?” And the bartender says,
“Yeah, but he’s not too good. Whenever he has a good hand,
he starts wagging his tail.”
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Aw god. I don’t get half of the jokes. I need english lessons. 
1 Like