(TW) I see no point in living like this anymore

Always in bed 90% of my time for years, gained 175lb. All I do is eat, nap, pee and poop. I never go outside. Now my right forearm muscles have been twitching for a week nonstop maybe permantly. My life sucked before sz but now it sucks much more. I think others would have already committed suicide in my situation. I take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol and I am prediabetic at 32y.o. I don’t even have a pdoc since Jan 2021 and now I am on a long waiting list to see one. I can’t reduce my meds. 5mg risperidone.

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Bro get up. We all have negative symptoms but you are letting it ruin your life. Come on! Start exercising and eating right. It’s either that or death. Life takes effort and it isn’t easy, but something is better than nothing, so get up and fight.

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That effort only seemed possible before sz and maybe off meds.

I’m on the maximum dose of invega but i still got out and exercised today. It’s all in your head. It’s about your mindset. If you think you can’t do it then you can’t do it

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We’re not the same. We have different brains.

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I’m not giving you permission to quit. Get your ass out of bed and fight

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Your probably twitching because of the rispiridone i twitch in the legs and arms because of invega which is chemically similar to rispiridone

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I have all the physical ailments you have, plus actually diabetic with an insulin pump. I have chronic pancreatitis among other serious diseases. I’ve got a lot of negative symptoms. But I do get out of bed. A lot of it is about willpower. I tell my kids, mindset is everything. If you think you can’t do something, you never will try. Sometimes you fail at things, but you won’t know that unless you do something about it. You need to find something to motivate you, otherwise you’ll never change.

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How can I have that?

I find that eventhough I am always in bed the only time it bothers me and I complain as I feel like ■■■■ is 7-11pm.

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Man, no one can give you willpower except yourself. You have to want something, in order to change yourself. Like I said, find what motivates you. Something deeply personal that is meaningful to you.

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I have a headache now.

I feel you bro. On the days I don’t work, I’m in my bed 15hours… sleeping. When I’m up, all I do is go to the grocery stores cuz I need to eat something.

Sometimes I see no point… I just stare at the wall

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You want to want to. But we have to do things we don’t want to do. Don’t avoid activitiy just because you don’t want to do it. That idea can change. After a few repetitions, you’ll feel the rewards and want to.

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Who said I don’t want to. I want to get out of bed, exercise lose 175lb, hangout with my friends, maybe work, go to the gym, etc but I just can’t, my brain doesn’t want to function.

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Should I increase my AP?

Don’t give up @Aziz
Get out of bed and fight!
One step at a time

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I don’t understand. Isn’t it your brain that wants to? You got a two brain system going - like a parent to conflict with?

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I shouldn’t have messed up with my meds reducing to 3mg risperidone. I feel worse than when I was first on 5mg.