No energy. No motivation. No happiness. No positive emotions. I stay in bed a lot if I am not with my friends. Idk how long I can stay like this. I want a job. In the summer I feel a bit better and walk outside or go the gym but still felt like ■■■■.
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I’m sorry that you don’t feel good and I’m sure that you have negatives and dont feel your best but I wonder if this:
isn’t exaggerating a bit. Don’t you get any enjoyment from food? Or a joke on the forum? Nothing? Zero? Really?
I mean I’ve been there with negatives and fairly severe anhedonia, and even then it wasnt absolute.
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How long have you had your negative symptoms. I had negative symptoms after my first diagnosis but after a while I got a job
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I’m lucky in a sense that on meds I have zero negative symptoms off my meds it’s a bit different
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the umbrella term sz/sza is a heavy burden overall to carry I understand
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I want to be like before sz
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evolve into the new person you are Aziz
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You’ve already done that. Strive to be functional in a new way today. As for myself…
I have dug two digital cameras out of my collection I’m going to use, I have a fresh battery pack in the oxygen concentrator, and I’m walking to Lambert Park to see if there is anything to be captured. It’s a pleasant day outside and I’m going to get a slice of it with my camera.
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I have them since 2-3yrs before my diagnosis, since 2008
After going off meds for 2yrs and being in psychosis for the 2nd time they got even worse.
That sucks Aziz. I know this has been a constant for you for a long time. ive watched it since coming on this forum a few years ago. If i was you, I’d try to force myself to do stuff. Despite having no desire to do so. Motivation doesnt just happen randomly while laying down usually. Especially with sz/sza. If you find it easier to do stuff while with your mates, maybe try to befriend yourself in a way. Be your own company during activites. Maybe open up a notebook in your phone and put down little entries of your own thoughts and complaints while out and about? And listen to some new music.
I guess the best you could do is force yourself to get up and go and fake it till you make it?
It sucks that you might not feel any enjoyment out of doing this/no dopamine reward in your brain, but you cant complain about laying in bed all day if you actually didnt lay in bed all day.
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I rarely know what im talking about so im sorry if what i say is stupid.
But another thought i had was a question about whether youve got any goals? A goal to work towards is probably the single most important factor in getting someone to do stuff.
Spend a day or two spitballing wjth yourself, trying to come up with a goal. Treat it like a mission or quest or objective in a video game or something. In a way life can just be a game. With particularly good graphics haha.
And the more difficult the objective the greater the rewards for your mentality/character.
Anyway, good luck with overcoming your negs and that. I really hope you can break through it sometime.
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If you have no motivation, I would replace motivation by discipline.
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I was a bit better on Abilify went to university and got a degree eventhough I had addictions, smoked weed and got psychotic from the weed temporarily for a few hours. I don’t know if its worth it, I had anger issues too fought with family sometimes but never with people outside family.
Its tough really tough
I have severe anhedonia no emotions same as you
I feel forming routine, habits is the only way i can survive. So i talk to family routinely on the phone and they visit every so often when im up to it. I watch a handful of tv programs that i like. I go out with someone twice a week usually to a shop or a cafe, just to do something
Festering in bed, no routine is going to drive anyone nuts
So my advice is to write a few things you can do, bit of routine while your ill
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Hey man me too more often than not. Lonely winters here on the prairie.
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I feel like abandoning my friends, they’re not helping me or helping my sz
Nah that would be silly because you need them
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Anyway nothings helping your sz right?
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Let me put on my broken record 
“Put yourself down on the list to see a psychiatrist”
And repeat…
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