Schizophrenia.com

Trying To Develop Relationships Without Sharing Delusional Beliefs

Hi. I’ve listed some information below about my diagnoses and background that can be skipped.

The question is: How do you, as a diagnosed person (or similar) cope with developing a relationship with someone without sharing any delusional beliefs that you have about the world? I think I’d like to develop that skill. Surely you don’t rant and rave about beliefs that are considered to be ‘crazy,’ right? Do you just focus on small talk, talk about areas that are a common ground between your delusional beliefs and ‘standard’ beliefs, and such to avoid talking about your delusional world-view? If pressed for information about your world-view, what do you say? I’ve considered saying that I don’t feel comfortable discussing my world-view because it’s not considered sane. If she wants some idea of my world view, I can recommend reading 1 science fiction book and one 3 part series, and making a mash-up of them with some modifications, with a lot of thought, analysis, open-mindedness, and patience. Even that may seem to crazy, though. What is a relationship without an understanding of each other’s beliefs, even if the beliefs are not shared, though? Maybe I should just try to date a woman who appears to be brainwashed by some doctrine that openly discourages heresy or apostasy and then just tell her that I don’t want to share my beliefs with her because I don’t want to discourage her in her beliefs. Heck, I really don’t know what to do. Thoughts?

Background on my diagnosis that can be skipped: This post is in the ‘Diagnosed’ section because I was once diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia; but my psychiatrist now says that she sure that I’m not a schizophrenic, and may be schizotypal. I’m on 1 mg of Haldol daily. I’ve had 2 of what I would call ‘psychotic episodes’ in my life, with one being severe and landing me in a holding cell due to insane driving. I’ve almost never had problems with hallucinations. Just delusions.

Background on my dating life that can be skipped: I’ve been lucky enough to stay employed and work on a couple of attempted relationships of the last few years. I ‘dated’ one woman for about 8 months who seemed to have a somewhat interesting mind. She didn’t seem to want to take the relationship much further, though. I never told her I am ‘crazy.’ Now, I’m dating a woman who seems to be pretty infatuated with me, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I want to get to know her better to know if I’m interested in a relationship with her. I’ve told her about my diagnoses and 2 episodes. She is kind of old-fashioned about chaperones and such, so I’m going to talk with her on the phone tonight to get to know her better in a private one to one discussion. I’m nervous about how to talk about each others belief about the world.

I’m coming up on three months with my boyfriend. The key is openness and honesty. I tell Jason everything. I would share your beliefs with the woman you’re dating now once you feel the timing is right. Your delusions are a part of you that you can’t deny. I would just say “I believe this but I know it’s a delusion” or “I’ve been told this is a delusion.” I hope your relationship works out. :sunny:

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I suppose I might get away with something like that. Even if I were speaking to a woman who seemed to be brainwashed by some belief system that openly discourages heresy or apostasy, I might still get away with stating a broad, seemingly silly belief, saying that it is considered delusional, and refusing to offer any evidence in support of that belief. If pressed for evidence, I could say that I don’t want to try to convince her to be crazy too. That probably wouldn’t be considered as teaching the belief, being heretical or apostate, or trying to make someone else crazy, in many belief systems.

Teaching a person to be a heretic or a crazy person, must seemingly involve presenting some sort of argument to convince them of one’s point of view, mustn’t it?

Dr. Seuss said it best "Those that matter won’t mind and those that mind… don’t matter!
If you are going to be in a relationship, you can’t hide or lIe about who you are. Be proud of you!

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Um…personally I DON’T not share my beliefs…Surely I DO talk about my beliefs in their entirety because what is the use of a relationship if you do not share this closeness and commonality?
I don’t do small talk, period. That would be a superficial relationship at best. The common ground with anyone I am close to will include belief in spirits, nature, aliens, UFOs…possibly shared experiences with visions (supernatural phenomenon)… and the girl does not have to be SZ or diagnosed with anything at all to hold these beliefs.
There must be synchronicity on several levels, the 11:11 sign appearing to confirm things and know we are on the right path, no fears about talking about things that others might think crazy.

If I meet someone I will throw a few pieces of info about me and what i believe out there…if it gets ignored or they do not understand and cannot engage in meaningful conversation about it then I know at best we can be casual friends, pen pals or whatever but nothing more. If she connects immediately and the conversation just flows and develops very quickly until we are in deep outer space as well as deep in the ocean, with most likely a healthy discussion of quantum realities and extra dimensions thrown in, appreciating even the most distant star as if we have both been there and know, communicate psychicly with animals and each other and possibly others by unseen methods,…then I am quite sure there can be a relationship, and has been, more than once.

In the past year+ they also need to understand about my late wifes ghost and respect her, as she remains active as a spirit on this plane so far…which that alone some might consider delusional unless you are a spiritual person or a medium, but its real nonetheless.
Plus that I am not interested in a casual relationship, dating, sex partner only, but am interested in and only wanting a bond, companionship, and faithfulness, and above all love that goes both ways…

they will also understand that some SZ and similar diagnoses like SZA, SZP and such are not mental illnesses but spiritual phenomenon or brains ability to perceive other dimensions and they will not push or even believe that someone has rto go to doctors or take pills to stop visions, so long as the person can function in society, in a relationship, and get along in the world…not in the sense of worldliness and materialism, but naturally as we were meant to be a part of the natural and spiritual world in total harmony and balance.

I can’t even tell you how many times a day I think “nope. Can’t talk about that. Well maybe… Nope. Can’t talk about that either.”

After I run through this, I usually have nothing to say.

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Word of advice, from experience…Pray for God to lead the right person, the perfect companion into your path…You will be surprised.

And its almost random but heartfelt prayer, maybe when the planets are lined right, or the season is right, and you just feel or sense to pray then, and suddenly next day or a few days later WOW…you meet someone…don’t even think nothing of it at first maybe, just a casual meeting, but then very very soon you realize Oh wow…then realize your prayers were answered…usually you’ll find it was mutual prayer by both and God did the connecting somehow.

'I can’t even tell you how many times a day I think “nope. Can’t talk about that. Well maybe… Nope. Can’t talk about that either.”

After I run through this, I usually have nothing to say.’

LOL. I definitely know that experience.

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