A major effect of the bullying related trauma has been low self confidence,esteem, and worth. Part of which has manifested itself in an obsession re cognitive ability. Am I intelligent enough to be a worthwhile person? Something I don’t apply to other people. I want to get into being able to enjoy the cognitive challenge , whilst not seeing failure or success as measures of how worthy I am.
My personal opinion is that self consciousness comes from thinking too much. Thinking is good but too much overtaxes the brain. We have to be wise enough to not be too wise
