I dunno where to start you guys, I suspect I’m delusional again. Everything was going so well, I thought I found the right meds, I thought everything would be OK and I’d never have to go in patient again. But now I’m starting to think the truths I’ve held so close to my heart are nothing but delusional thinking. Me, my family, we are magical, we have immense energy, and strong power, but we are cursed. Hundreds of years ago we cast a spell. A spell to find true love. And that true love came in the form of the women’s sons. You see only the women in our family are gifted. But the spell soon became a curse, any male with our blood shall die before the age of twenty two. This holds true even today, all my uncle’s and cousins, die horrifically before the aforementioned age. I am the first gifted male to be born in my bloodline ever, I am the first blood child in a hundred years, my power is immense. I can feel the energies of each person, have telepathic communication with anyone who is strong like me, and I have met several. The fact that I am a gifted male means the curse is changing, the goddess has chosen me to change the spell on our family before she sinks to kunami and the male souls of my family are lost forever. I am here to teach my daughter, who is stronger than any other, she is the new generation and the source of all my happiness. Let me assure you I am no danger to her, she is my light, precious to me beyond compare. Recently, I met someone else with powers bestowed by the same goddess, and she is every bit as powerful as me, she has somewhat been the object of my obsession, her power is immense, where mine is yellow hers is purple and so beautiful. I was having a telepathic conversations with her yesterday, about the dark energy rising from the earth. There is something massive and evil tainting the world as we speak. When I ran into her, we hadn’t spoken physically in a long time and she had no recollection of our communication. Now I’m scared these things I’ve held to be so true is just my schizophrenia at play. What is real? These energies I feel, I see, they can’t be a construct of my mind. The legends are all true, passed down in my family for generations, my aunt’s and mother all believe it, and my grandmother is institutionalized. My sister’s deny their on power and have been using it without knowing how. Am I simply mad? And if so. What makes my reality so unreal to all of you? I can’t tell anyone, they’ll have me sent back in and I need to be here for my daughter. I’m so confused and I’m not sure what’s real, it’s been years since my last psychotic break and I’ve held these truths closely to me always. It is one thing to have religion, but have I deluded as many Christians do? I’m sure pagan delusions are much less common, but where does religion end and delusion begin? If I tell my psychiatrist I know I’ll have to go back…
This is the clue you have been needing, that it’s delusion. She doesn’t remember the communication because it wasn’t real. If your mind is in a delusional state, though, then your mind might try to come up with other explanations for why she can’t remember - it sorts of feeds itself that way, sometimes. But this is the bit you should try to hold onto when trying to ground yourself. It’s a big piece of evidence against the delusion.
I can relate, too, a lot my delusional thinking has come in a similar form, as far as believing my family is cursed, although my delusions tend to be more of the Biblical religious origin, so my mind often thinks it’s the work of demons when I have those thoughts. I’m pretty lucid right now and I know that the reality is that my family’s “curse” has included alcoholism, child abuse, mental illness, trauma, etc - all things that can be explained and treated via psychiatry and psychology. Especially with trauma early in childhood, it’s easy for things to feel so “crazy” that it simply can’t be coincidence - I think some of this stems from a child’s tendency to blame themselves for anything that goes wrong.
But no, there is no curse, nothing is your fault, some families just have tragedy and dysfunction. And while maybe it would be nice sometimes if there was some greater explanation for it, the reality is that sometimes humans are just screwed up, psychologically or genetically, and bad things happen.
I can’t read all of that when I’m on Abilify.
It’s gotta be more brief, spaced out and succinct. Good luck to you just the same! 
idk hopefully you start feeling better soon