First and of foremost important, I wish I could see my therapist naked. Second, in order of things, I was moving from one flatsharring to another last week-end. Almost all my stuff was moved by sunday night, but I couldn’t move in with my new roomates before monday. So I went to sleep at my former house, talk a bit with my to-be-former roommate (whom was pretty cool by the way, asked how he wanted to recuperate his key, and stuff like that). Woke the next morning, he had already left for work. Had to go to some place, before moving up the rest of my things. Comeback at my place and found myself unable to open the lock on my door.
So, like every sane person I do not (with a lot uckng will) get into strange scenarios: it was cold, the lock is probably frozen, let’s try the key one more time, one more time, and so on, let’s light up a cigarette, and try once again while fcing smiling, right? So, after 10 or so attempts, I decide to abandon and write a polite note to the to-be-roommate saying « hey, think your lock is frozen, wasn’t able to get my thing, please contact. »
Of course, I told myself to not get crazy over the matters: it was absolutely impossible that he had changed the lock, since he had left that morning, and certainly no sane man, as i for one, would think that he spotted some neighbors to check on me leaving the place and had specialist change the f**ck*ng lock while I was out (a couple of hours). Guess the **** what?
While writting the ****ing note, he ****ing appear on the doorstep: I tell him (with that ****ing smile on my face, see I’m a happy guy and zen and stuff) « I think your lock is frozen, I wasn’t able to enter. » Of course the ****ing thing answer back: « the lock was changed. » Just sharing with you guys…
wow that sucks i am sorry man
I got my stuff back, so no big harm was done; but it really took me a great amount of strength to not get into weird scenarios when I was trying to unlock the door.
thats good you got your stuff back.
Any trivialities you would like to share, friend?
ya few years ago i was going through a divorce and my ex kept my son from me because i have schizophrenia which is total bs i love that kid with everything i have i wouldnt do anything to him
it sucks - can you be in relation with him nowadays?
Yes it did. Oh ya I see him weekly and wveyother weekend till Monday
coolness. He’s probably too young to have a decent understanding of what going through / what you were going through. If everyone of us was planted in a greenhouse, we’ll all grow straight. Nature as its own way, everyone needs some sun to grow and they are very little of us that turned out growing straight. I think what I’m trying to say is different people brings different lights in the world; i wish you and your son a wonderful relation in the years to come.
Thank you for your kind words that meant a lot to me.
you don’t have to like everyone and not everyone has to like you. remember that. it’s hard for us, i think, feeling someone doesn’t like us when we want them too without feeling the whole world despises us. or maybe that’s just me. but i have a lot of trouble feeling disliked by someone without having it seem to come from everywhere around me. the psychobabble answer? if person A, let’s say Beth, dislikes me, it makes me feel sad and needy as though i’m looking around on the inside for someone to make it okay. only, my brain isn’t real keen on those emotions, so it projects my expected response, that i’m weak and despicable onto the furniture through the miracle of psychosis. come to think of it, my nightstand never has truly been on my side.
So that is where I was all those years??? 
(the night stand you’re calling not your side )
are you flirting with me?
you betcha
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