I am 98.9% sure I am not delusional, on this one. However, I am posting it under this category, for the sake of the 2.1% of doubt.
I recently moved from my apartment, to a basement suite, after I spontaneously panicked and quit my job and couldn’t afford rent.
The lady I now rent for is really starting to get to me.
We share a kitchen, and the bathroom that had the shower is shared. I have my oewn toilet in the shared laundry room.
Anyways, she is really scaring me, because I am certain she is watching me. when I am not in my basement area. I think she may have some kind of serveillance system set up.
When I have to come upstairs, I get such severe panick, I just avoid doing so when she is home, even if it means I don’t eat.
I try to cook my dinners in advance, before she get’s back from work, even then, I feel like she monitors me, somehow. It’s really scary. Especially since her cat follows me everywhere, even when I have to go to the toilet, and he watches me. I look in his eyes and they look strange, like maybe they are camera’s and he is watching me… Even my pet rabbit looks different and watches me a lot. She doesn’t come for cuddles, anymore. I’m not sure she is even real, but I try not to think that, because it’s such a frightening thought.
When my landlady looks at me and I can tell she is judging me in her mind, because I never come upstairs, anymore, and I never go anywhere. She thinks I am lazy, because I don’t usually make an effort, anymore, I just hang around in my pj’s or sweats. I can tel she is judging me in the way she talks to me, and that she doesn’t like me.
I used to cope, okay, because I had the middle section and basement section all to my self, but now she has another renter and he has his T.V. set up right at the top of the stairs from my bedroom. I can’t go upstars when he is home, even to use the bathroom. it’s so scary, and everytime I come up the stairs he tries to talk, and he looks at me strangely, and makes weird comments.
I can’t even go upstairs to shower on the weekends, because she is home, all day. I have to stay downstairs and be stinky and gross, till monday.
I can’t practice my accordion or violin when she is home, becasue it’s too loud and I don’t want her to hear. So, if I sleep in, then I miss my opportunity.
I can hear her on the phone sometimes, and I know she’s talking about me, and when she has people over.
All I do is sit in this basement room and be depressed, because I can’t live my life. I am so afraid, all the time and I want to move, but I don’t want to offend her, plus I am struggling to find another job.
I honestly don’t know what to do, and I am sorry for the long rant. I needed to rant about it, somewhere.
I need to get out of here, and soon.
You might want to have a look at these. The descriptions of them may ring some bells, and when you’re ready, provide doors you can walk through to deal with mental events like these:
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Get a copy of these books, read them and have your family read them, as well. (Torrey can be a bit totalistic and unwilling to see exceptions to his “rules” at times, but most of his book is really worth the effort to plough through.)
http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-6th-Edition-Family/dp/0062268856
http://www.amazon.com/The-Complete-Family-Guide-Schizophrenia/dp/1593851804/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=schizophren0c-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=XKLY6NWSWJSQ3VYN&creativeASIN=1593851804 -
Get properly diagnosed by a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…
http://doctor.webmd.com/find-a-doctor/specialty/psychiatry and https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
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Work with that “psychiatrist” (or “p-doc”) to develop a medication formula that stabilizes their symptoms sufficiently so that they can tackle the psychotherapy that will disentangle their thinking.
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The best of the psychotherapies for that currently include…
DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – Welcome to the Mindful Living Blog
MBCT - Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy: theory and practice - PubMed
ACT – ACT | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
10 StEP – Pair A Docks: The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing
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the even newer somatic psychotherapies like…
MBBT – An Introduction to Mind-Body Bridging & the I-System – New Harbinger Publications, Inc
SEPT – Somatic experiencing - Wikipedia
SMPT – Sensorimotor psychotherapy - Wikipedia
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or standard CBTs, like…
REBT – Rational emotive behavior therapy - Wikipedia
Schematherapy – Schema therapy - Wikipedia
Learned Optimism – Learned optimism - Wikipedia
Standard CBT – Psychotherapy | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness & scroll down
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If you/she/he needs a professional intervention to get through treatment resistance, tell me where you live, and I will get back to you with leads to those services.
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If you or your sz patient suddenly becomes manic: What to do when your depressed patient develops mania | MDedge Psychiatry?
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Look into the RAISE Project at Google.
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Look for mental illness clubhouses in your area (which can be hugely helpful… but may also pose risks). Dig through the many articles at Google to locate and investigate them.
I believe your post is all delusion. She may be talking about you, but ebveryone seems to do that about everyone. You are fine. I wouldn’t worry over it.
@bunny, the good news is you seem to be delusional. Your landlady isn’t out to get you, and the cat isn’t watching you. And yes, your rabbit is real.
The bad news is the same as the good news : you’re delusional.
What’s your med situation at the moment?
No meds, at the moment. I also stopped seeing my psychiatrist and therapist, because they dont’ help me at all.
I have also never been diagnosed with anything, except for depression and anxiety.
need a new doctor. tell them everything and i mean everything. you need a diagnosis asap so they can help you
That surprised me. Can you see a different psychiatrist? Get a second opinion. You sound delusional and paranoid.
Sometimes doctors get it wrong, and the early stages of schizophrenia can be diagnosed as depression.
See a psychiatrist, maybe even show them the post above you wrote. Be honest with them.
Well, those are fairly serious diagnoses. And under stress, they can lead to very delusional – even paranoid – thinking.
One question (which you don’t need to answer here but should be honest with yourself about): Are you drinking or drugging? Because alcohol and/or drugs + anxiety can induce paranoid ideation.
You are probably right on the edge of making yourself sick. You need to calm down. These worries are NOTHING that matters. Totally so unlikely, would not worry. Women are rarely a weirdo but maybe you need to spend could days or longer living with close friend or sibling/cousin who can keep you from worrying. Please google ‘targeted individual’ and just read about how some other people will act, almost always a part-time psychotic trying to get the voices to stop.
If you were already having panic attacks from an abusive relationship or someone who threatened you, please do not talk to anyone from that group again. DO NOTHING CONFRONTATIONAL AND DON’T DISCUSS ANY OF IT AGAIN UNLESS YOU WANT THERAPY. Move if you feel unsafe so no one knows where you went. If stalked, just say ‘we are good’ once and try to avoid ever talking to them again if you run into them.
If you encounter a lot of people who do not act right, this is called thought broadcasting. They try to talk to you about something private they should not know. Strangers do try to pick someone up like this – this can be good relationship choice or at least needs to be checked out if you are entering a state like yours. If person can hold down professional job and treats people with respect, do at least talk to the person for a while as they know a lot about what is going wrong with you and how locals treat each other. These people will dump someone if the voices demand it so I call them ‘conditional’. In many cities, one of these setups is a first marriage but divorces later as life’s stress plus the mental abuse gets worse. You need to be able to make a living for yourself if you accept one of these…If this person’s friends/family openly gripe at strangers in public or whole table taunts guy at next table at restaurant (guided conversation), they will probably adversely affect your ability to work so use caution here. I would not bother strangers as can get hard to work. (Some only get weirdo setups through thought broadcasting but have to check it out to know if you get good choices or freaks.)
Some people will do 180 on you and treat you crazy, is just hard on anyone hearing the voices. This is why I do not behave in this manner as I would rather just work for a good one and surrounded by mentally stable people so is a choice but sometimes a tough one.
Some are told to go to church to calm down if you stress or hear voices. This is usually trouble and some of these Christian groups are really just group of victims of dirty businessman who uses these people as slaves to mess up some businesses where they work, customers, relationship possibilities…Can get stuck in a church and threatened if you want to leave, or worse…Only check out church where you know some locals so someone has your back up.
A lot of people hear voices sometimes and it is no big deal. Some say something rude, some church people are even nastier as they call people who ended up on disability pay after mental care thieves.
If you have any insomnia problems, which first probably sent you to the mental care, seroquel is a nice drug. Cut into pieces, at night it works nicely to deal with insomnia with few side effects.
WARNING: Mental care and even therapy may not discuss any assistance with social problems. All of this is called delusional, no matter what. You can never get angry with the mental care of you will be locked up in hospital at your own expense for as long as the pdoctor can justify. If the care is not working for you, check out some new doctors and cancel next appointment with old psych team.
No, I don’t do anything like that. I don’t even smoke, or drink more than two coffees a day.
I already tried to get a different psychiatrist, and I couldn’t.
Do you really think it’s all dellusional?
I wrote my psychiatrist a long letter, once (I communicate better in writing). He didn’t think much of it, and continued to talk about anxiety.
Definitely…
Would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much for me. People’s capacity to tolerate neurostimulants can vary tremendously. But, for many with psychiatric problems, even =two= cups a day is =too= much.
I have had to cut out almost =all= caffeine to protect myself from taking flight into impulsivities that get me into trouble. (I put a couple of tablespoons of ice tea in my morning Gatorade to help me through the wake-up stiffness, but that is =it=.)
Based on my own similar experience over several decades, I’m about 80% sure that it is. Our minds play tricks on us because our brains are broken.
Sometimes it’s two, usually it’s just one in the morning to wake up. I usually don’t even finish it…
Thanks for your input. I feel a little bit of relief thinking it might just be dellusional thinking.
Delusional means psych doc will not discuss this. Sadly, refusing to discuss what I call ‘social problems’ results in some people thinking they are a cartoon character and going to movie threater with gun…But this is mental care policy to refuse to discuss some things…Remember to never get angry with your care or you get locked up in psych hospital, get huge bill, lose job and maybe homeless for blowing your top. Get arrested by cops in front of neighbors and hauled to psych hospital until you take the meds without question for a few weeks and act okay.
I hate word ‘delusional’. I think it’s probably irrational, just over stressed right now.
I do think you are just to anxious right now. Rest would really surprise me about female roommate. Maybe roommate is a little weird but is usually just someone (who is part time psychotic) talking to you about something private you just did or whatever you are thinking…Called thought broadcasting. Does she have different sleepovers or your stuff moving around? Could be worse.
You can look at term ‘targeted individual’ to find out how some crazy folks act toward schizos & they just know who else is hearing voices or starting to have problems. These people are the ones who refuse to consider mental care legitimate and blame something else for the mental problem symptoms which do just stop sometimes, and sometimes problems don’t stop…
Are you feeling better today? Can you just go upstairs this weekend and shower? Say hello and avoid much conversation? It’s just a small challenge… PM if you like. I can tell you it is really nice to have normal female roommate sometimes if you live in a community with lots of weirdos when you go out…Keeps the home calmer.
See if you can make this work. Can always work on letting lady talk about herself a lot, they all love this and will calm you down when you can relate to her somewhat & nothing is off.
Do you know yoga or feel okay taking a walk? Will calm you down for a while. (Mall walking here is nasty creepy with the thought broadcasting teenagers…Could not imagine working at the mall with customers like that and job is my survival. Dang, I work from home now with bad insomnia and too many weirdos coming into life/death situation jobs. Too easy to get sued in my city with so many weird ones or church hatemongers and terribly low staffing levels at lots of life/death job situations.)
My city had MOST of the adults go through period of 2-3 years of psych problems, ones who went to the church to get voices to stop are frequently forced to chase around strangers if voices demand it and bad mouth some who ended up on disability pay after mental care. Church does not make voices stop for the sex abuse victims and some ex-wives, unwilling mistresses, business rivals. Some of these churches are VERY unokay anti-christ situation and could get stolen from and threatened with harm if you try to leave, ask to do lots of unethical stuff so you will be okay including screw over your own family & employer. Every city and town has something different going down, mine had lots of people not experience psych symptoms until they were older and went into nervous breakdowns or easy to use & ruin lie ex-wives, mistress possibilities, business possibilities – the under 40s ended up hearing the voices some of the time growing up. Poorer heard the voices more, middle class sometimes do not know about whatever problem locally causes ‘crazy’. Like I’ve moved around and found out the poorer & middle class buying existing homes in some areas are targetet for thefts/vandalisms, while the folks buying new homes are left alone to keep the construction contractors working. Is normal to call whatever goes on ‘Drama’ but told not to discuss this stuff … Better to not keep money in your place & keep belongings basic. If you make police contact in these situations, they try to make psych evaluation hold on you and some police start a discrimination-okay ticket on you/ force you to move. I think it better you just know this. Is nothing to really worry about as someone can get past any locks if they ever wanted too…Usually just happens a couples and then stops but sick areas have a lot more they do to people.
Once you enter situation like you described, lots of people male and female latch onto a professional level-thought broadcaster (who does not call you mental) or good one they once dated (using facebook?). Is much easier to get through this with a mate or shacked. Fewer social harassment, vandals leave you alone and keeps sex harassment off you at work (my city made this art form to mess up female worker to get relationship and deny unemployment pay).
As far as moving, need to know a local if you try it as some of the small towns even are trying to make prostitutes out of some of the females that move there alone by putting you with abusive men who try to get you fired. Even males run off when someone breaks all their stuff and tries to use them. Two who move together can be okay…
I went back to the old friends I know were okay after having problems with new ones in my city coming from hate monger churches or too crazy nows. Had a few male friends who are just too crazy now, lots of the local middle aged males have snapped and will mess up their own mom…Rest of the folks fro past are still nice, sane and normal people. Better than trying to socialize at a big church as I was humiliated by room full of them and thrown out for not going to all the church services, just social stuff due to distance and low income. Some of the church people are not okay to even socialize with, watch for them as coworkers if you can finally ID bad churches…Stalked for 6+ years by theirs with little contact & their church elders are really not my kind of people so want NOTHING to do with any of these after meeting them as they have been trained to psychopath-out or 180 even on coworkers,. These pestered coworkers acting crazy & take whole group of workers from good employers to harass me in public over lunches…
Better informed than scared in my opinion if you are experiencing anxiety problems.
Hope it helps. Or PM if you want.
Several friends dealt with things this way (shack up or marry the last good one) after confronted by wrong kind of men or weirdos. Eventually, it came time they just had to get a relationship to stay in a GREAT job that is sheltering a bad sex harassment problem that will destroy any female employee who tries to hang on or make sport of ruining her as the years pass.
Don’t even want to discuss a split or divorce in office like this. Keep rings on…Don’t even want to be alone for 10 minutes or could be the end of the job due to sexual harassment…Sad but these kind of employers just manage to run the place screwing lots of people out of unemployment even. Would work on transfer to another office or at least different department if you find one of these situations.
Lastly, you don’t want any police contact on anything unless someone stole a lot of stuff from your place or it was ransacked. Some police sniff to find out who is on disability pay by asking too many questions. You need to say you work at Walmart or factory in next small town…NEVER get angry. Really, cops investigate nothing unless there was a murder usually so calling cops is just so you can file a claim with your renters insurance…Cops here scare people out and have several families getting trespassed on at once, still manage to do it as court/cops/DA is dirty and media will run nothing here. I’m working on leaving as is just too bad to deal with this place any longer. Took 12 years of f-ing me up and I want to live again, so I’m gone as I’m only 40.