Tough love


I had a bad day today again, crying and suicidal and dead feelings within, and like a lot of times my husband treated me with firmness instead of rushing over to comfort me. He said to me he prefers to do that to help me to get stronger, that if he hugged me each time I got sick I would cheer up, but wouldn’t get stronger. So he wants to help me, but not in the way I feel I need, but in the way he feels I need. My mother treated me the same way. Do any of you have experience with family members who ‘don’t want to go down that road with you again’?


this sounds to me like your husband doesn’t understand your illness…if you were treating im badly then i could understand his firmness but if you’re only hurting yourself then you nee reassurance not tough love. maybe he’s just tired saadiqah? you know when people say they want to commit sucide over and over but don’t actually do it, it becomes tiring and draining to listen to and some people get angry. i had a boyfriend with bipolar…he wanted to commit suicide. he didn’t tell anybody, there was no drama, he just went ahead and did it. they are the ones who really want to die saadiqah and i don’t think you do. if you did, i mean really wanted to do it, you wouldn’t be talking about it, you’d just do it. the reasons for not doing it are many and varied and i guess your husband is tired of being rejected because if you think about it, your saying you want to commit suicide is rejecting your life with him, rejecting his love for you because it’s not enough to make you feel ok and that’s difficult for any man to take. men like to fix problems and unfortunate though it is, you cannot be “fixed” by his love or intellect and i think that he is realising this as time goes on and probably makes him angry with himself and you not because either one of you are to blame but because it just is. am i making sense? really saadiqah the only person that can make you feel any form of happiness is yourself and sitting at home doing nothing and wasting your intellect and emotions is not going to make you happy. it’s hard but you have got to try doing things outside the house. you’ll find that the more you can do outside of your mind the easier being happy or content becomes. take up a hobby, knitting, sewing, writing, take a college course even if it’s only a 10 week course, go for a walk every day. you have to do “something” whatever you may enjoy…if you don’t know what you’ll enjoy then try anything justto see if you like it. above all just try. hope this helps x