My niece took me to meeting. Hubby met me at bench inside, he stood and I sat.
Almost had argument because I kept butting in when he spoke. He thinks I’m dumping him because he’s broken/got illness. He reminded me that when I was ill he was there and gave me many chances and now when he’s ill I want to just dump him on the side. Felt guilty. Maybe he wants me to, I don’t know!
Oh yes, and he denies he has sz only epilepsy. Maybe he doesn’t really have sz but it’s just part of his epilepsy but still - he never told me when we got married that he had mental health problems included in it. And I never told him I still have sza because I never knew I still did. So in the end neither of us knew full truth about our illnesses.
He suspects I’m scared of him because I didn’t want to get in his car. And indeed I was paranoid.
He also spoke about Islam - that I know what Quran says and so on, and if I want to wear open neck its up to me but I know what Islam says. I told him I’m trying my best. (But I’m not doing it for him anymore). He said if I want to return to my old religion it’s my business but I told him no I don’t. It’s like he thinks just because I’m taking it easy that I’m losing it.
Then he got his father to say a few things and his father sat down and said he and family appreciates everything I did for hubby. And please reconsider staying with him. That they will appreciate it if I do. (Meanwhile I’m thinking: you just want to use me as a slave). His father even said he will sign something to commit to driving hubby.
But I thought that’s not the issue - the issue is the toxic relationship not the illness or driving. If hubby had same illness but had positive outlook and sense of fun and easy going, I’d have stayed with him.
I wished it could have worked out but unfortunately I can’t change his attitude to life.
I was fairly quiet and let them talk. Afterwards when they left, hubby was friendly again and gave me a hug.
Then I went home with my niece dropping me off. Feel ok not too upset. Just a little numb.
Seems like there is a marriage rescue mission underway to me.
I don’t know much about these things. You nearly lost me when you spoke about religion, but I think I follow your post for the most part.
You need to do what’s right for you in the end, as all the grovelling in the world won’t change someones behaviour if they’re just trying to be nice to save the marriage
My husband doesn’t batter me but he slapped me across face once and threatened some other people with a knife several times and even attacked his father a few times. Who knows if he will threaten to hurt me too? He has a hot temper.
Once recently he even said the devil suggested to him to kill me and if he wasn’t God fearing he would kill me. I’m scared of him now.
This morning I am speechlessly angry. My husband phoned me, says it’s urgent, that his father is now begging me to come back as my husband is all alone. I said to his father his son is his responsibility. Husband said that he can’t go back to his parents and threatening to kill himself by setting himself alight in car.
What pathetic parents are his that they can’t even take their son in??? My mother and I always suspected that they chose me as a slave to look after their son because they are too pathetic to take on responsibility.
I feel sorry for my husband that he has such disgusting parents. But I. Can’t. Go. Back.
I have had nonepileptic seizures that really screwed up my mind (I even made live recording on instagram saying gibberish and in delirium) but seriously this doesn’t sound like epilepsy.
Latest developments - my husband has now asked his sister to book me and him a night at a seaside place near lighthouse (he knows I like them). It sounds so lovely but it’s too late. I can’t accept. They are bribing me big time!