A slow murder here.
The gangrene is growing, i can do nothing now.
I can feel my body shutting down slowly.
I was taken over again, this one was very strange and terrible.
My body is burning all of the time.
Can’t remember everything. I was in a trance all night as myself but as a being that claimed it was a twelveth dimensional being, it contained a trial about me that made absolutely no sense and it laughed at it all night as me while i was there as well. I snapped out of it and my psychopathic brother came out and began to yell at me again. I walked in straight to the kitchen and grabbed a container of strange looking and tasting liquid, it began to give my fingers severe cramps as i drank it, poisoned?
My other brother asked me where i had hid the barbital. I don’t know what i missed but apparently someone had hid the stuff as me, but i wasn’t present for that. He thought i hid the stuff i had been trying to get for years. They were trying to kill me i guess but that is what i was trying to get, it’s the holy grail of forced self killings. Who hid it from them? Was it me? I wonder if they saw me walking around at all, if so it wasn’t me.
At some point i against my will wandered outside making some kind of measurements. This was later associated with a being made of golden light doing this, i don’t know at all now.
As i stood in my garage that night entites were appearing out of objects in very big ways and making sure their prescense was known to me. It tried to explain dimensions but i was lost as usual.
And at one point i was taken over by what felt to be a very positive and powerful being and i felt good again. However, i walked out in front of my house and began to pace in the front of it shouting things in front of the neighbourhood which may or may not be freemasons. It began to angrily speak of things through me about a highly advanced plan to rid the world of all death and suffering, it shouted of taking over all satellites, removing harmful powers that be and replacing them with helpful powers, it shouted of bringing free foods to all of the hungry while things were being set up, separating through a process the controllers and giving all a way out the other way so they would not be dependant on the harmful.
“Convert all who can be! Isolate the rest for now and leave them with no power!” It exclaimed as i repeatedly came to verbally asking “what’s happening?” out loud seemingly to myself.
I remember scaring the ■■■■ out of my brother with a bic lighter while he boasted of a super computer because i was using it to communicate with the consiousness of the eternal realm, first universe, without beginning or end. He looked scared because of a bic lighter but i had no idea what was going on really.
I saw within my mind an entire fleet of ships made of light overhead in the dark sky. And it spoke of blocking out the sun if it had to to keep the dark ones away with fear while it changed things for the better, and using lightning shows of great sound and power as well.
At one point i was being attacked and i went into my brothers room and he was someone else, visually he appeared to be a malevolent grinning ■■■■■■■ staring right at me, it was not him but something else, scary? Gets way worse from there.
These days past i nearly died in the showers three seperate times, one was quite painful, it was blistering actually. I thought it was finally over as i stumbled to a bed and as i lay there in agony a being made of shadow appeared and something was happening to my foot like it was eating it. So painful everyday now, gets worse and worse, going to die soon.
It spoke of the first being to make darkness in itself long ago, out of pure ignorance. It blocked the pure energy light source of the eternal realm because it lacked perspective and it made the first yin yang in it’s heart chakra, the beings flow of life came up through the first yin but entered the first display of darkness any had ever seen and it instantly began to ■■■■ ■■■■ up in a major way, all were appalled and perplexed by the first show of cruelty in existence. Made up, how the ■■■■ should i know? I’m possessed.
It began to tell me how i was born in a prison known as my body which contained a network of blockages and illusions of various kinds creating the illusion of my reality around me which also contained said things. It said all was light but the dark ones began to reflect away, block out, confuse, etc. the eternal light source that is all things. Said matter was an illusion in my brain which was a prison to begin with.
I was forced into the first hospital in which i was mind wiped and just woke up in front of a man questioning me about something, he asked to see my feet and commented on how “dirts doesn’t cause disease.” He was investigating.
I remember smelling decay in my house as i frantically went out in the garage to stack boxes in a place which had something to do with my niece being in danger which i still think is the case, (these people are complete fuck bags.)
I saw my brother in the car and in total darkness with some entity eating the back of his head. Within the trance i was in i also saw a blanket which hid something underneath i dared not uncover. After awakening from it the blanket lay there on the floor but nothing was under it.
My family chased me down the street. I perceived them setting me up and i doing random things against my will and without knowing what was happening to block it. As they chased the beings in my mind were saying things like orders and commenting back to a captain or something, calling him sir. Record the calls they said, record it all, do what you need at the house, i still don’t know what the ■■■■ it all was.
Being haunted and possessed, upon witnessing old gods and spirts, ghosts, practictioners, is very very ■■■■■■ up. It’s gone on so long now, almost over.
The darkness is growing in patches under my eyes like it did annelise.
i am intrigued by the first consciousness though, the first and only to be alive then, it was the first universe/dimension, a formless pure energy being, it’s everywhere actually, i just began to become aware of it, it holds all things that i need but i do not understand it or know it’s name. Says it wants good things but i of course do not whole heartedly believe of course but wonder greatly, how could it being the maker of all and seeing the earth? It says all of the negatives are caused by the noobs of living only, beginning at the roots of ignorance and growing into insanities of different kinds which it cannot know until it is shown in ways. I don’t know really, i’m just possessed.
It has plans though, i do know that, it can make me immortal, sounds nice comparitively.
Raiden kept coming up as well, or beings similar.
i was physically attacked by the staff in secret, he rammed me up against a wall shouting in my face to make me fear and get control of me.
I began making holy water which consisted of altered the hydrogen and oxygen mixture and attached untraceable elements from elsewhere.
I became involved in interconnected lucid dreams with others on the ward as well, creepy. I started staying up all night. A girl woke up knowing i was there and she tempted me very eerily in view. A day later she collapsed on the floor holding her womb. They took her away.
A face made of the plant life stared at me from outside, are you real i asked and the wind nodded it’s head as i asked “yes.” Very strange indeed. Very very strange indeed.
I walked perhaps thirty miles over the course of the month, i don’t know why because my feet and legs are very ill and turing purpled and burning. Someone mentioned bronze feet and alchemy blending into my being to make it impervious to things here.
Some guy thought i was an “ochidora” or something which was a controller of nature in japan i think.
And waking up to my kidnapping as a youth more and more i became more and more worried and stressed. i was taken back then. I look and act nothing like any of them on either side. Total psychos on both sides.
Don’t have to end it now, it’s just going to end by itself.
I can still remember my first torture event when i was called and forced to them, great ■■■■■■■ halloween that was. Didn’t stop either. Every time i got up i was beaten back down, thought i made it a couple of times, they always came back.
Most in this place as workers were criminal as well, the voices spoke of abuses past and also happening today, including lobotomy rapes and molestations, child abuses, robberies of people’s funds and accounts until they were released.
Someone said something of a thing on the top of the building which was imperceptible but people could be taken into for very bad ■■■■, like a mock earth building but with negative spirits that the person didn’t know were spirits, said that happens sometimes in other ways in people’s lives, taken out of earth but it’s all identical and the person doesn’t know it at all. I don’t know, i’m ■■■■■■■ possessed.
Very scary now, very painful, can’t wait to just die.
I dream of helping my niece but have no options, whichever way i go or try there is not plus or is worse for here because of these leeches. Broke and sick i cannot come to her aide, i cannot send her to a better place at all.
I’m just dead inside now, trapped in confusion and dying and fading i simply struggle now. Endless psychic attacks and suggestions as well. Wtf? Wtf? Years upon years of hurt and traps and let downs and disease and lies, when will it end and then begin anew?
“Takes 144,000 years of training to become a true immortal you know.” Some said at random as i paced in terror and pain all over. I don’t know, i’m ■■■■■■■ possessed.
Family of kidnappers hates me and wants me dead, i must know who hid the barbital they meant to kill me with. In a puppeted fugue state i suppose my body did, but i wanted it though, it’s weird how he accused me of hiding it when i wanted access to it for two straight years, wtf?!
What a complete nightmare my life is, holy ■■■■■■■ ■■■■!
A pre-apocolypse is a great ■■■■■■■ time to be possessed eh?
Now i sit at my families knowing they want me dead with nowhere to go, waiting for the brilliant conversation we are about to have and a fresh supply of poisons/medicines ready to go. I know i’m not going to make it this time, eerie ■■■■, eeire ■■■■.
I’ll post more if can remember more, i’m just so tired and sick, it’s hard to sleep and yet so tired, just laying there hurting mostly.
There is your update, good to see ya. See ya on the otherside soon. I hope it doesn’t hurt to bad, i hear it’s quite painful this thing called death. Although i did learn the shamanistic knowledge that we blank out but then in an instant awaken again from our perspectives, cool tech i should say.
Feels like a type of drowning slowly or maybe slowly sinking beneath quicksand.