“If he talks more than you do because he has all the answers without asking you any questions.” (my last psychiatrist)
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When you’re cutting and suicidal and he says that you’re not sick enough to go to the hospital (my pdoc in 2013)
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Hey! Everyone needs tea, toast, and a bath.
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Just don’t drop the toaster into the bath!
CRACKLE, CRACKLE, BAZOUNT!!!
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I’ve been very careful to never drop one into my own bath.
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When you say you have a broken heard and he suggest to spend 6 weeks with your mother.
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He tells you he’s a scientologist but he’s moonlighting as a psychiatrist to earn enough money to pay off his corvette.
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His diploma hanging on his wall says “Somalia University, class of '99” and he proudly tells you he graduated 43rd out of a class of 54.
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Strangley enough - when i used to present myself at the cmht, after having a meltdown - he always made me a cup of tea with about 5 sugars in it.
And it worked!
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“Gives you the number of a premium rate Mh Helpline”
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Prescribe you Invega as the 1st antipsychotic.
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You’re in trouble if he wants to do a prostate exam. At every visit.
His name is Willy Mayes and he can cure you in three easy steps.
He has a lawyer in the session advising him not to answer any questions.
His pet rock often runs away.
His medical school diploma is from the University of McDonald’s.
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