“If he talks more than you do because he has all the answers without asking you any questions.” (my last psychiatrist)
When you’re cutting and suicidal and he says that you’re not sick enough to go to the hospital (my pdoc in 2013)
Hey! Everyone needs tea, toast, and a bath.
Just don’t drop the toaster into the bath!
CRACKLE, CRACKLE, BAZOUNT!!!
I’ve been very careful to never drop one into my own bath.
When you say you have a broken heard and he suggest to spend 6 weeks with your mother.
He tells you he’s a scientologist but he’s moonlighting as a psychiatrist to earn enough money to pay off his corvette.
His diploma hanging on his wall says “Somalia University, class of '99” and he proudly tells you he graduated 43rd out of a class of 54.
Strangley enough - when i used to present myself at the cmht, after having a meltdown - he always made me a cup of tea with about 5 sugars in it.
And it worked!
“Gives you the number of a premium rate Mh Helpline”
Prescribe you Invega as the 1st antipsychotic.
You’re in trouble if he wants to do a prostate exam. At every visit.
His name is Willy Mayes and he can cure you in three easy steps.
He has a lawyer in the session advising him not to answer any questions.
His pet rock often runs away.
His medical school diploma is from the University of McDonald’s.
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