Top 10 Signs You Have a Lousy Psychiatrist

Creativity
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1: Growing up, his best friend was Carrot Top.

2: He leans in real close and says, “So how am I doing today?”

3: He buys his aftershave at the Dollar store.

4: His secretary always greets you and says, “Good luck! Cause you’re gonna need it!”

5: He schedules your appointments around his golf games.

6: He recommends you go to the video store and rent “Jackass 3” to deal with the grieving of a recently lost loved one.

7: He prescribes tea and honey to deal with your hallucinations.

8: He has a “Vote Donald Trump” sticker on the back of his car.

9: He asks you to chant “We didn’t start the fire” by Billy Joel before beginning each session.

10: He’s a frequent member of “The Happy Endings Massage Parlour”.

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All jokes aside. One thing that indicates a bad psychiatrist is when they ask you questions from a list.

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Been there unfortunately.

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11: In place of a Diploma, there’s a picture of him juggling chainsaws at a nudist colony.

(Feel free to add your own! I know @77nick77 will eventually chime in!)

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I had one do that too, and he also said to take frequent walks.

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This one is my favourite! Lol!!

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Ugh those are the worst. Like yeah it’s not like I haven’t tried that or anything, thanks. :joy: Tell me @cbbrown , do you do exercise? I do light yoga or boxing :slight_smile:

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I did yoga and I walked before I broke my ankle now its taking a while to get back into the swing of things.

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I wish you a speedy recovery! :slight_smile:

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He has low self-esteem and he asks if you can help him.
He complains to you that all the other psychiatrists pick on him at the pool parties they have.
He asks if he can borrow $5.00 from you for his lunch in a couple of hours.
He hums “When the Saints Come Marching In” for the entire session.
He brings his family into all your sessions for moral support.
He has a swastika tattooed on his forehead and below it another one that says, “What the hell are you looking at”?
He doesn’t speak your language.
He grew up in Texas (Sorry to all you Texans out there).
His parole officer keeps calling him every five minutes.

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He puts you on meds without discussing their side effects or giving you treatment options!

He leaves the country within a year or so of you writing a letter asking to be under a different Pdoc for inconsolable differences and a personality clash!

At least the new guy kept on asking if I was a VIP!

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He’s been a practicing psychiatrist for twenty years and he’s only had three patients.
He’s wearing two belts.
He’s a Celine Dion fan.
His office is in a crack house.
He advises you not to smoke cigarettes and then he pulls out a cigarette and smokes it.

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In a contest between him, and Lucy Van Pelt to see who was the best psychiatrist, he lost decidedly.

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His wife filed divorce papers, saying he is an insensitive imbecile.The judge agreed and gave the guys wife $300.00 out of his pocket as a reward for divorcing the psychiatrist.

He doesn’t know how to spell “psychiatrist”.

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He says “People like you…” and then says something that describes himself that he won’t admit.

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“People like you describe things about people that they themselves won’t admit. And that’s not me.”

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Actually he said “People like you do better if they write things down.”

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lol meanwhile he’s writing everything down

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Then there was the time he said “It would never do to have a nervous psychiatrist.” when some subjects made him obviously nervous.

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Reminds me of someone I know.