Today i felt like the worst sz case

Sorry you all, but I try to get on my feet a bit too :cry: .The docs seems desperate about me. I was suffocating when talking to my mom today and to my friend on the phone. I was even shaky by fear (not because of the meds). I should have quite of body problems because my sedentarity is since 17 years. I am afraid yes… I killed myself in the brain for 17 years. Yes, its been so long that I was self destructive… Tell me its possible to recover after so much time… I went through the phase of feeling as a monster etc etc. The list is long… I know its quite important to be treated as soon as possible, but have I my chances? Some of you here seem to not believe it for me anymore :confused: . Cause come on, what is this symptom - to suffocate when its up to talk? its desperating gosh… Idk if my paranoia is just too strong, I raised my ap now, but I am not sure it will help me. Maybe it helps a bit, I am not sure, but it kinda blocked my ‘‘soul’’ pain in me too since I raised it…
Love you and I hear you.


Hey, be calm, I was like you in suffocating when talking, your chests muscle or diaphragm muscle have become weak or you have cohesion of lungs, both can be reversed, do you smoke?

Hope you feel better today
Did the doctor increase your Ap
Hope. It helps fingers crossed

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Yes, I increased my Zyprexa shellys.
Otherwise, I am afraid I became an animal for years… But whatever… The others were mostly good to me. I had so much anger and negativity in me, I was in hell because of this. I hope I can get up on my feet one day. Do you believe it still? After 10 years of despair and negativity? Well, maybe the others thought I am a monster, idk… I guess I wasn’t on the earth for years :frowning:

I also wonder if I should endure the pain in me now. But I am a bit disgusted by all the meds that I took… Its hard, I am sad

When I have a depressing day, I go out and have an outing and just think about life to put a perspective on it. My perspective right now is that when I first got sick, I put up this profile picture because I just wanted to sit on the beach and retire. But over time, what gave my life fullfillment was doing things that had meaning. That meant never saying no to new opportunities and meeting people and running errands and doing some kind of work or school. I am a true believer that happiness is best when it is not actively planned for. If you live your life by challenging yourself and trying new things, happiness comes in unexpected places. I went to get my mom’s car washed and saw the sunshine and the people busily at work and felt both accomplished and happy. Work on pursuits like health, reading, volunteering, or just exercising your motivation by going out more. Set small goals for yourself. Get out into the community or just do something impulsive. Any true happiness requires effort.

You are in a forum where we talk about these cases. Don’t worry, we are all just like you. I believe I have reached whole another level of bad episodes than you. Pain is temporary, treat it as an ingredient of life. Just take your time and find your greed for life. :+1:


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