Today has been ok so far

No harassment or voices or anything. Yesterday was really hard as I was raped/abused badly. Did have some compulsive masturbation again today. Really hate that. I’ll make sure to take the benzo again tonight so they can’t get me. I’ve just been studying and whatnot but the anxiety is distracting me.

Due to current events I’ve become a hermit. The thought of any kind of social interaction to me is apalling. I want to just lapse into a depression coma but am terrified if I try to nap or lie in bed the abuse will start again so instead I’m keeping busy at least.

I have a pdoc appointment soon so I’ll talk things over then.

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I feel sorry for you…I’m also studying and it’s hard, but mine usually pick with me with “crushes” I have at college.
I find your posts (specially in this category) very helpful, this way I can have an ideia what girls get through with this ilness. I have to remember a girl who has sza every day, so I get to know what she might suffer, even if she doesn’t want to talk to me.
Thanks, at least I have a slight idea.
My voices talk a lot about sex too, it’s to much! With meds it got really better, but it’s still hard whenever this girl gets off work. She is also a nurse too.
Good luck with them! Keep us updated, your posts are very valuable :wink:

I don’t know if girls are more likely to have these types of hallucinations than guys, but I have noticed that several other people on here have experienced them before so I’m not alone. I think it is a really difficult thing to talk about. I mostly bring it up because talking about it makes me feel a bit better about it, because I don’t feel like I’m holding it like a very very heavy secret that I am all alone with. I’m acknowledging it’s happening and that in itself is relieving to me I guess. Here I can freely say that no, I’m not doing well, horrible things are being done to me. I don’t have to pretend everything is fine which honestly I feel like can mess me up worse sometimes.

I’m glad you find it useful and I hope other people can too. Experiencing these hallucinations has seriously impacted my life and make me extremely reluctant to ever have a relationship.

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