I’ve never get to far away from thinking. I’m afraid if I do I’ll forget how. Been having very strange times these days though. Moments of total thoughtlessness up to 30 seconds. It’s difficult to do that when your trying but when it happens naturally it’s kind of nice. Very different though.
It brings me peace. Stops my hallucinations. Been having pretty good luck controlling my symptoms for the last couple of days. Seems to be creeping back up on me though. There is a yard party going on one house down and I’m choosing to just sit in isolation with music playing.
At this point I don’t really have anything to talk about. Not drinking tonight either.
Just a chance to hallucinate a lot. These people have been drinking and ■■■■ for about 5 hrs now. I don’t care to be around that.
Anyways. I don’t really know what the form of my mental experience is going to be like as time goes on. When I’m all out of thought impulses I try to live in that silence.
I don’t think I’ll ever loose the ability to think, but I just can’t really tell where it’s going.
Anyone else like periods of thoughtlessness?
Everyone’s in bed asleep in my neighborhood, I think; even my very beloved cat. It’s 2:51am EDT and I usually get about 3:15am EDT. I usually get bed about 12:30am EDT. This is the way it’s better since I went off the Seroquel; but, I rather be awake than be in a dense mental fog. Tonight; for some reason, I just can’t sleep. I remember I have had trouble with Fri nights before. I’m on the Invega and the pdoc told to take it before bedtime; because it will make you sleepy. I usually do get sleepy; but, then, wake up; wide awake in a few hours.
Loud music makes me very delusional and I get upset’ unless it’s my own. If another driver makes angry driving; I crank up the music on my radio as loud as it can go! I can’t ram my car into theirs. That’s no good for me at all.
You know, on your thoughtlessness, I remember way back in college telling my stupid boyfriend that my mind was totally blank-no thoughts at all! That was and still is to this weird raw feeling in my brain like someone had ripped it open and started to scoop it or something. It’s almost worse than a migraine.
Hmm. I just like the sense of self I find when my mind stops having stupid thoughts. Sz really messed me up psychologically.
Interesting. I too have periods of thoughtlessness. Sometimes I think it is a defence mechanism of the brain - giving you a brief moment of peace amid all the noise.
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Yeah I’m almost to the point I can slip into by will.
Left to my own devices (i.e., no medicine), my brain completely shuts down, as if a blanket is placed over my head. Can’t think, can barely move, just want to hide. It’s an awful feeling.
The accomplishment of not thinking feels good in itself after all the ■■■■ I’ve been through.