This is not good

So some evil thing has been attacking me with dark energy since last week and it won’t stop. I know the energy is making me sick. I feel so lethargic and I think it never wants me to leave bed so it can keep attacking me. I’m worried the energy will send me back into depression. I want to break free from it so badly. I feel so awful, like I had been on drugs in the past, was clean for years and then fell off the wagon again. I feel like this is my fault and I should’ve fought harder. I feel like throwing up. I still can’t leave bed but I have work to do.

Can you put it under a lava well and close the top?

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I’m worried about you hang in there

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Jesus came to me beforehand and told me to trust in him and god. I think they knew this would start up again. So why would they let this happen…but it’s my fault for calling out to them in the first place…not that I fully understand why I do that sometimes in my dreams…I’m a mess I guess.

Sounds like negative symptoms have and have them really bad,
Like a horrible feeling grogginess and other things etc. feeling empty shellish etc. many other symptoms.

The rest seems like positive symptoms interpretations/ divergent thinking etc etc

Medication APs etc and other sedate the mind and mood ,
Like they really knock ya center… that is probably why your feeling these horrible feelings espically if your still in the process of changing medications.

Feel for ya, it sucks really does. Really does.

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I am sorry @Anna

Hope you are feeling better :pray:

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You’ve completely lost the plot Anna. Please go on an antipsychotic before you end up harming yourself.

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They’re not letting me take certain meds. I think they’ve been trying to convince me to quit depakote maybe but I’m not listening. They won’t let me take klonopin or modafinil because they help.

You’ve totally become psychotic and have lost all insight. Please call your psychiatrist and ask to be put on something. Anything.

You sound like a danger to yourself.

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I’m not gonna hurt myself I’m just disturbed and upset. I’ve slept most of today. I still feel weird like I’m hearing everything through my head being wrapped in a blanket.

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Yeah I’d talk with associates with you, I’d seek help if you can’t.

If you need that grounding of a sound thought again,

As of now sounds like your having delusional thinking that something controls your thought process and decisions.

And if you don’t have insight about this and have the real grasp of reality on this. That stuff is all in your head and your in control…
You know that logical grounding that isnt really a second thought.

that not in control loop is complete no insight.

Not good at all, going with command delusions etc having that plot, def. get back on the AP if your losing it that bad.

Nothing good can come from it, so like everhope said tell this to your doc family etc,
So you can get a hold again you know, because if you don’t have that simple grasp of insight, really bad. Sounds like the motions of psychotic

But besides all this hope you have a good day.

I beg to differ. You sound like you’re totally out if it. And it’s only going to get worse. You’ve totally lost insight which is the first step to hurting yourself.

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Try to take a warm shower and make it to work even though you don’t feel well. I know this might be difficult. I have people doing this as well but I need to go to work too

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Sorry don’t mean to be insensitive.

What started the current situation you’re in now?

Exam stress, so I had confusion over to whether they waited until I was weakened from stress to attack or if it was all just psychosis set off from the stress. But I’m not so stressed now am I? Not sure. I guess a lot feels overwhelming right now. Stress will always get ya…hard to say it’s not real when it’s happening though

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It is probably stress related. Any change in meds?

Do you have any defense or offense against these voices? Or is it not a voice

well I stopped taking klonopin and modafinil but thinking back I stopped taking them bc I had gained tolerance after needing to take them every day so I wanted to lose that tolerance but I’m ready to start taking them again but for some reason don’t so that’s where I feel like maybe the bad things are willing me not to. I just need to take them. They say “they won’t do anything they won’t help”

I call God but it’s hard to when they’re burying me in darkness and they’ll send me into these trances or worse full dream states where I don’t have the reasoning for that

The best thing is for me to get out of the house and away from where they can easily trap me. I’m out trying to study at Barnes and noble now. But again everything feels so distant and quiet like I blew out an ear drum or something