No, I have no power over my thoughts. I have a hard time staying in the present moment. My mind is stuck in the past, bizarre meaningless memories and they keep coming and interfering with my present. It’s some sort of obsession. A lot of people tried to ruin my life in my past. I’m gonna ask my doc to help me, send me to therapy if he thinks it might be affective. But I still have my sanity.
It’s just that mental illness is embarrassing enough and I don’t tell it to people but talking to myself in public is really embarrassing even among my friends. people look at you differently, I like to retain my dignity.
I’ve talked to myself out loud my whole life…people around me just laff about it. No big deal to me…never has been.
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thanks Patrick, people like you change my perspective. I might be able to overcome this.
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@waterway
I agree with @Patrick. I took myself so seriously for years. (Some of the alters on my bus still do, but the driver gives them a testy stare.) Most of them have crossed the aisle and agree with those who know from experience that it just doesn’t matter what others think… unless there’s money involved.
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when i was psychotic went out with a friend to a concert, just ended up talking to myself hugging a tree lol… no biggie we laugh about it now
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Talking to myself is one of the things I do that embarrasses the most. It’s never anything interesting or thoughtful, just random nonsense, like talking about how much I like my cat. I catch myself doing it at work and am just mortified.
I started keeping a log of every time I talk to myself. I write down the time, the date, and exactly what I said. It’s super embarrassing to look at but it helps me stay aware of it and also see patterns - it ramps up when I’m tired or hungry or stressed.
That made me smile man. Very funny.
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Well I like my cat a lot 
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Yeah Gonzo keeps me in good company. Wakes me up a lot.
Cat’s are cool. 
I have sometimes spoken aloud as a form of therapy. I focus on trying to make my voice very calm, resolute, and clear - almost like a voice actor. It has increased my clarity sometimes.
yeah I heard about it. I usually talk out loud when practicing for job interviews and I’m really great at them. I find a job in a week but currently with this med switch, I’m going through some weird withdrawals.
You’re doing what’s best here. (Last med change I had I quit my job and school. Couldn’t do it.)
yeah, having a hard time functioning. I have my sanity though/
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Sounds like you’ve got a vacation ahead of you. I’m sure things will fall into place after that.
Latuda is a very good med. One of the newer ones. It might need supplemented by other aps but get the mix right and it should work for you.
I really hope so. I see a major shift in my motivation, but it went downwards even on Geodon. Now it has just gotten worse. I can not focus. I’m having a hard time driving also/ Took the train today.
Is it anxiety with driving? I’m sure montreal is crowded.
no I’m not anxious. I have a hard time focusing and staying in the present moment. I drift and daydream while driving and doing anything actually.