Thinking about the future

I’m really scared. I’m starting to question whether or not I should do this to myself. College has put RIDICULOUS amounts of pressure and stress on me and it’s highly exacerbating all of my symptoms. My episodes get worse and worse. And this is just sophomore year, junior year is gonna be even harder, and then senior year I have to deal with the stress of grad school applications and then when I get into grad school I’m basically repeating all of college but harder, and then I have to do a postdoc and it just goes on and on.

I do have a dream to be a scientist and run my own lab. That’s what I want to do!! But as of now it is NOT helping my mental health, I feel like I’m declining, or maybe just becoming painfully aware of just how much it interferes with everything.

I just don’t know what to do. Do I put myself through years of intense emotional pain and episodes to achieve my dream, or do I go for an easy, low stress job that spares my mental/emotional health but wouldn’t make me feel fulfilled? Agh.

Well as long as your steered for success either way. maybe plan on taking some time off before grad school. look to the mouse for inspiration he probably feels a lot of that ■■■■ and does it anyways. Be driven and youll succeed. I believe the saying goes shoot for the moon and youll land among the stars.

Im so sorry your sz. It really puts a damper on life, but on the other hand it makes you stronger than most people. BEST OF LUCK ANNA! I’m sure you’ll be alright. just dont waste your opportunities like i did. Thanks god for disability.


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Winter puts a damper on most people’s moods, lack of sunlight and cold nasty weather and all. (Unless you live somewhere really nice, in which case good for you but I hate you lol) So winter for us is like nightmarish haha. That’s what I think anyways.

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life is a road to be walked slowly…remember the tortoise and the hare story.
you’ll get there…
take care :alien: