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Feeling really anxious about work

I have a hard time concentrating and I feel like an idiot and a failure constantly. How do I get this anxiety to go away? I feel like such a fck

Its hard work and I think Im bugging out too much but I feel like everyone there knows how dumb I actually am lol why am I so braindead

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Ive said it before, but literally every grad student feels that way. You wouldnt be in the program if you didnt earn it. You are brilliant. You just haven’t learned everything yet, which is why you are there learning. Even Mr. Star has been a nuclear engineer since 2008 and STILL makes mistakes and has to be corrected. He feels like an idiot when that happens also. But he isn’t an idiot. Nobody in that field is an idiot. You’re all just used to being the smartest person in the room by a wide margin, and now you’re all in a place where you are evenly matched so you feel dumber by comparison.

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Thanks ninja

I know its true but its so hard to internalize lol. Yeah when I was in high school I was one of the smarter kids and in college less so, but now that Im in a research organization its like damnnnn every single one of them is an actual genius.

Appreciate you keeping the perspective its hard when theres so much pressure. Esp since I cant go in everyday, I get distracted

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I kind of went through something similar this week so I wrote that to myself as much as to you. My friend introduced me to a new friend who is a seasoned neuroscientist with several studies under his belt. We had a great time talking, until he asked if I had an idea for my thesis yet. I explained my concept, and he asked a few basic follow up questions that I just had no clue how to answer. I felt like a kindergartner explaining how to draw a square. He was very supportive and friendly, but it was obvious he knew WAY more about the topic than I did. I had to remind myself that I shouldnt be expected to be able to keep pace with someone who has had a doctorate for the past 20 years.

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And then there’s the weird self-destruction as a competitive sport attitude loads of professional academics have. “I pulled 2 all nighters in a row!” “I drink a gallon of coffee a day!” “I haven’t seen the sun in 6 weeks!” And they act proud of this instead of taking them as warning signs that they need to find a better work-life balance.

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Yes exactly, the people who are veterans of the field have had some much more time hands on with the work, they are wizards with the code. No worries, keep going and youll get it eventually

I should really take my own advice there haha

The self distructive academics thing was me. I used to abuse adderall and vyvanse before big exams and stay up late studying, at least the firrst 2 years. Never was proud of it tho. Also I drank energy drinks a lot, especially during my internship for my bachelors

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Yeah my first time around in college I would brag about overloading, working 3 jobs, sleeping 4 hours a day, etc. Older people would be like “be careful, you dont want to burn out” and I would scoff. Until I burned out and needed a good 8 years to recover.

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Yeah same here, I burnt out but it was a slow process. Just got more tired and depressed and before ya know it poof scholarship gone cuz my grades slipped. My gpa in my bachelors ended up being like a 2.6 so its a miracle I made it to grad school, let alone somehting like nuc engineering. Bombed out first try and now a year later doing a bit better

But I did better in sweden because they are more lenient and flexible when it comes to due dates, and I think in the workforce Id be able to handle myself, but idk my dream of getting a phd and doing researchh seems daunting

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Getting a phd IS daunting. You can totally do it. But you can also decide to drop out and just work for a power plant making bank.

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I think you’re right about most people feeling that way, but I don’t.

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That is awesome and sounds very mentally healthy.

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@zwolfgang , I totally encourage you to go on and get your PhD. Why not? I think it would be super cool to be a research scientist. I can’t think of anything better.

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