Well I typically do a nightly update. So here goes.
The voices are in the back of the mind where they belong. Had a few beers so I should passing out pretty easily when I get around to it. I did drink the typical amount of caffeine today, but after two days being caffeine free it was a totally different experience. I had a clear head for the first time in a long time, which sucked because it made everything seem real. I couldn’t be any more thoughtless, but the messages kept occurring. Totally out of my control. From hear I hope to either find a way to turn the messages off or on or at least control what they say. I almost feel totally recovered, I have no preoccupation with this illness, I just deal with it as it comes. I’m guessing things will continue to get better from here.
Things are good. I’m looking forward to tomorrow and the improvement it will bring. Reupped my meds today. So ill be good for another couple of months. Take it easy peeps. Try to keep your mind free of concern. Feel free to send me a pm if you feel like chatting.
After today I’m going to reduce the caffeine to a couple cups in the morning.
Good to hear. You seem to really be struggling with voices man it’s kind of sad, makes me feel sorry for you. After a couple of nightmarish years mine have finally faded away though I’m sure it’s just seasonal and they’ll be back in time for summer…
Things I’ve noticed when my voices go haywire is when I worry too much, feel paranoid about something or think about certain negative events as if I couldn’t free myself from these thought processes. They interfere to let me know I’m ruminating too much over something. I’ve read in a book recently that the schizos might confuse the hallucinations for real persons talking outside their head, that’s the case for me, it almost feels so real that I don’t actually think I have hallucinations anymore, just nutjobs outside on the street with no self-control. Closed windows are a must, or a fan or AC ear plugs and music when it gets too hot to handle.
As for coffee, I don’t drink it that much, I’ll have 2 or 3 cups in a row maybe once a week. You’ll think I’m lazy but I don’t like prepping the coffee machine, would rather drink straight from a bottle in the fridge.
Keep faith man, I feel things have gotten better for you, we got a life to live, let’s live it well. We’ll be here if you need a respite from the real world!
