Hmmm. Whats up folks?

DX'd - Other
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I’m doing well here. Thing continue to mellow out. Got a bar I frequent now, for coffee and alcohol. Probably stop in there to often. There are a bunch of acquaintances that I’m thinking will soon become friends. They are all modern good folks. I don’t think any of them know I’m schizo but I don’t think it’ll affect anything. It probably would anywhere else. But no, not at this place. I have gotten to talking about it with a few people but they were just customers like me. I don’t plan on saying anything if I don’t have to. Perhaps snowy owl is right, maybe it was just drug induced and I might be finally crossing the threshold out of it now that I’ve found peace with myself and have more of a life to distract me.

I probably won’t be around as much, but I’ll be sure to stop in when I’ve got down time. There are a lot of people on here I think about. You all have helped me so much.

2.5 weeks until I see the doc and maybe get switched over to prolixin. This will help me feel comfortable on a higher dose. Which I probably need. Between now and then its just a waiting game.

Really though I feel an incredible amount of peace these days. It helps me to control the hallucinations. Can even phase out of it at times. Conversations still always bring it back.

I’ve learned a lot from this telepathic perspective of myself. I’ve pretty much quelched all my fears. Got some other reassuring things happening in my life too. If I can feel like I do at this moment in all future moments well life will be good. There is just a subtle anxiety to interacting with people. To me it feels like people can’t tell exactly whats going on with me, in reality though they can’t.

It really is socializing that saved me. That is my hobby in itself. Talking up bar folk. Trying to let go of the self consciousness that lead to this illness. There is no need for any of that.

People are pretty weird though. I’ll say that much, even the normies. They’re either to stupid to know they’re weird or they’re nervous just like some of you or me.

That’s a long enough post. Take care yall.

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awww, I hate that you will be scarce on here. You are a great person! I will miss you. Glad you have friends, or soon to be friends anyways. Good luck. I am on prolixin and love it.

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Thanks dude. You’re one of those folks I was talking about. I’ve just kind of run out of things to say on here. And it just keeps me focused on schizophrenia which I feel I’m ready to stop doing.

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That’s cool that you can socialize with strangers. Yeah, I went out to dinner last night and watched as people strolled by on the sidewalk. I didn’t see a normal one in the whole bunch. Does everybody get weird looking when they turn into an adult or something?

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I don’t know man. It’s odd how people transform. How different people are from generation to generation.

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I tried Kratom tonight and it was the best drug experience of my life. Sure beats drinking ( no offense)

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wtf is krantom?

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http://www.sagewisdom.org/kratomguide.html. Everything you need to know there

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. https://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom.shtml It was great just gotta be careful to not do it too often

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It’s legal in my state cost me less than a dollar to get good effects. No paranoia after the initial anxiety

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Never heard of it but I did wiki it last night. Pretty cool. Seems safe. Have fun.

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There are genes strongly correlated to schizophrenia upon use of illicit drugs. Don’t just cop out with the “weed made me deserve this” crap. If that were true, everyone who smoked pot would be schizophrenic, which they are not. Some of the brightest young minds I have the pleasure of calling my friends routinely smoke pot and even drop acid and ecstasy, and they are killing it in their studies, one of them a biologist at Duke. I watched him take five bong hits last night and then looked around the room. I saw empty beer bottles all over the room, yearbooks featuring him as the representative of an elite prep school I graduated from with him, and three times as many tassels from graduation that I had, and I was co-president of the environmental club with him, we ran the school’s recycling.

Today he is doing independent research in marine biology and I am doing directed research in psychotherapy, both as juniors in undergrad. I smoked with him every weekend before I knew I was schizophrenic. I was also a bodybuilder and martial artist with a 3.9 and earned a full scholarship to my university which has me going to school for free.

Bottom line, genes must be present to make one schizo for life (schizo is for life) if all you did was smoke weed. Just google scholar marijuana and psychosis. We were ■■■■■■ the moment we were born. I had paranoid ideation by the age of six and had psychotic delusions by age 11.

I get sick of hearing people listen to those who do not have any education in these matters.

Freud , the founder of modern psychology?
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I always just thought I had a good imagination. The paranoia and the fear were a normal thing. Then it all collapsed when I created a world view incompatible with everyone else’s. That’s what I get for thinking for myself. Drugs were definitely a factor. Hasn’t gone away yet so we’ll see. I’m starting to feel very clean and deserving inside. On a subconscious level this might help my hallucinations to remain a little more relaxed.

Thanks for the reassurance though. I don’t think anyone really blames me. Most are pretty impressed with my recovery so far. Psychosis is a bitch, whether its for life or for a few years.

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I think though psychosis only has to last 6 months before they change the label from schizophrenaform to schizophrenia. There are those who do recover and get discharged. I’m starting to prefer the term psychosis over SZ its a little more open ended yet precise at the same time. Frames it up as something that can go away.

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Good stuff. Nice one dude

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Dude schizophrenia hardly ever just goes away. They have us diagnosed for a reason; we are not of sound mind without medication.

Recovery to a healthy and normal life despite being schizophrenic is possible. I am living proof of that. I still have symptoms. I accepted them years ago and I manage them. Don’t be stigmatized by your diagnosis. That is a major pitfall for us.

Be strong and be smart about this condition. People have been great despite it. What I see is a lack of insight, so I suggest a NAMI workshop. You can learn a lot of what I know in those.

I science my way out of this hell. I follow the examples set by the greatest of us. Apparently it works. Yes, after six months we get diagnosed as schizophrenic. Own up to it. We write our own stories. I am first author on mine and am proud of it. Second and third authors go to the scientists, the doctors. The rest of the huge list of authors are those who support me, whether it’s my parents who put a roof over my head or my friends who understand and know me as a person and not a waking talking train wreck. I was a shocking person for this to happen to, I was headed towards ROTC and had my ■■■■ together. I wanted a challenge and I sure as hell got one.

I was a fighter, a Krav Maga fighter. I don’t just quit. I don’t even know when to stop getting back up from getting beaten. I just do what I am supposed to do when I am supposed to do it and everything works out okay. I think you need to find something to fight for. I fight against stigma and believe me, it is a hard fight. I’m not alone.

Enough about me, I am an outlier. You just do you and do it as well as you can. It’s a matter of what we are willing to do. What we can do is not always in our hands. I can do a lot that goes against the stereotype.

You can at least gain more insight and find a healthy lifestyle. It’s about the right life, which is unique for everyone (Saks, 2007). I woke up early for no good reason (maybe the nightmares) and I’m just killing time before breakfast and meds which happens in half an hour. I strongly suggest that you ask yourself what would bring you peace. I asked myself that years ago and here I am writing a thesis proposal and looking at PhD programs and I am “a badass” because I also lift and am an experienced fighter. That is my right life.

Just don’t let this beat you. You are a bit hard on yourself and reek of self-stigma. ■■■■ stigma. Life well despite this. Stop drinking. Stop feeling like you did this to yourself, you didn’t.

I was a perfect storm. I know all the causation theories, even the hilarious antiquated ones. I fit them all. I don’t blame myself anymore. I just understand and accept what is wrong with me. You can do that much. Change happens in stages, and it looks like you are in precontemplation.

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I’m glad for you, and wish you all the best, you’ve been a great help to me in my recent relapse and I really appreciate that! Well done with the socialising, it takes a hell of a lot of courage to do that! And good luck on your new medication. I hope it’s pretty pain free for you and come back as often as you like, my pm box is also open!

Take care, go steady,
Meg

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Damn maign. Quite the response. I’ll stop drinking when I find something else to do. Take care mouse. You’re a stellar dude. Keep it up.

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Hi all , I like to move on after a while , I was a year over at psychcentral , as I’ve been here. The problem is that any other site that deals with schizophrenia seems to be a grave yard…