Schizophrenia.com

They won't just leave me alone

I can hear their whisperings, they know I’m stressed out. They come around when I’m stressed out. When my emotions aren’t stable. I cant get myself under control so I can faintly hear them. I’m scared to look around. I’m scared I’ll see them. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them. I dont want them back. I dont want to be alone because I fear I won’t actually be alone. I’m afraid that they’ll be waiting for me. I know that they’re waiting. Waiting to catch me off guard a little so that they can come back into my life. No pdoc to help me. No insurance. I hate everything. I want to curl up and disappear into a space of nothingness where no one and nothing can reach me.

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Any chance you could get some sleep? At least it gives you a break from all of this

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I’m on my lunch break at work so not really. Its 12 now I work until 3. Then drive an hour home. The drive might help for a little bit.

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Hopefully the drive gives you a break, for sure. Do you have plans for the evening?

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What do you usually see?

I promised my little brother I’d go to his band concert. We’ll see how that goes. I’m going to my boyfriends after so if all the noise really messes me up then I know he’ll help around me and keep me centered. I’m sure the drive will help. I’m playing my music right now which is nice.

@SuDuMa I haven’t actually seen them since 10th grade. Which I think was about 3 years ago. I dont know how to explain them. Just shadow creatures. I haven’t seen them again yet but I’m scared that with the way my emotions are that I’ll see them. My psychotic symptoms are directly related to my emotional stability. Which is why it’s so important for me to manage stress and anxiety. I’d been doing really good too. But i found out this weekend that a really close family friend passed away and I’m not handling it very well.

I’m glad you have your boyfriend in your corner. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

So sorry to hear of your loss. That would be hard on anyone

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I hope things get better for you.

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I have seen the dark shadows as well but it went away on meds, sorry for your loss best of luck

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