i dun have any delusions but i experience extreme cognitive decline , unable to make eye contact with people ,my eyese also have squinting problems memory problems, basically i can’t learn anything and i can say from people’ outside seeing me would see that my eyes are like “ always staring at something all the time” instead of really “looking “ at something, i also dun hear external voices . this state of incapability and inability is more painful for me , i would say i am in a state of “catatonic” and “retaxded/ intellectual huge decline”
i also experience floaters (recently) and tinnitus , not sure if it is related to my psychosis/ brain vessels injuried /something similar to it ,but definitely somthing can go wrong in some parts of the brain like vessels /eyes , gonnna have a mri for it and i hope there are some discovery tbh
psychosis (these two years).i think the longest time i have on meds in these two years one week, but before that, there are some details i forgot in the past few more years , at that time it may have been half year or a few months , but at that time my diagnosis is “depressions” though i never think i had ,but i think i am on ADS / some benzos at that time, i even told my pdoc that i think i am more like shizo rathar than “depressed” but i forgot did i go on Aps for that and how long i were on them. The memory at the time is quite blurrd tbh
schizophrenia have been called dementia praecox in the past and i think i am what the result will be when it got untreated, that’s early dementia and huge cognition decline and i am not sure if medications can reverse the process /damage done, most likely not imo.
but i am also skeptical that it can be the meds withdrawal effect from the Antidepressants / Aps (even though i was just on them for short time, but longer time for antidepressants), even though the Antidepressants left your body but the effect/change done by them can be much long lasting than just a month/two months, lacking of seretonin /inability to produce themselves from my body itself can be the reason for my “stupidity” / even the state of too much dopamine can last for long time, or even for life, who knows ,and the reasons of the state of my mind , the “chemical imbalance” in my brain can also be my gene/but not the meds, but it also can be the meds , who knows?
Tbh, i think psychiatry is a psuedo science, not much scientic proof but all are hypothesis , i would be more healthier had i not go to a psy clicnic at first , the theory has never been proven , the reliance of so called DSM-V actually can create more mental illness than it has originally.But mental illness /psychosis /wrecked mind is definitely a undeniable fact though imo.
You know what? This sounds starkly similar to what I felt and thought just after I accepted my diagnosis and had left the psyche ward.
It does get better for most of us. It will get better for you!
I have just left the library in my university campus studying economics. A full hour of reading and writing notes, can you imagine that I went from experiencing what you are experiencing to now being able to study (a little bit, but still more than I was when I got put into hospital)
Have faith! It will get better! Take your medications and do extra hard to get your physical fitness back first. Then slowly start other things like socialising and studying. It CAN get better.
Maybe for you because it didn’t help you. It helped with my positive symptoms but not the negative and the cognitive symptoms. I think negative symptoms worsen cognitive symptoms. Lots of symptoms of sz since it affects all the brain.
it is because i have been hurt by it and in my menory everything is pretty good before i went to a psy clinic but i did admit there was problem in my life at that time , but wasn’t as big as now