Hi guys, long time lurker here. Been lurking the forums for the past 4 years, was too lazy to set up an account, but here I am now. So I have some questions for yall. I believe I’ve been in the prodome of this illness for the past 4 years, but I’m not completely sure, because, well, I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet. I don’t have hallucinations or delusions. But I seem to have all the negative and cognitive symptoms of this illness. Actually, I want to take a step back. I really don’t know that what I have is schizophrenia. Well i really don’t want it to be, cause well it will feel like an end to my life. Anyways, I have questions about some of the cognitive issues others face on this forum.
First of all, do any of you with severe negative symptoms not have any thoughts at all? I mean just a blank mind all day? If so, this will have to be my least favorite symptom of this illness.
Also, difficulty thinking. I’m not talking a bit of brain fog, I mean just not being able to problem solve etc.
Another one, what about your guys’ vision? Any of you have issues with night blindness? I seem to have almost completely lost my ability to see at night, where it probably isn’t safe for me to drive at night anymore. I’m thinking this might be related to contrast sensitivity which is known as a visual impairment in schizophrenia, I just wasn’t sure how severe it’s supposed to get.
Also i have numbness all over my body which I know isn’t related to schizophrenia. But that’s part of the bigger picture since I want what I have to be encephalitis or something like that. But it’s probably a somatoform complaint of mine. Or I just keep getting gas lit by doctor’s or whatever. Anyways, was hoping for some of your guys’ input.
Your body numbness sounds like a somatic symptom of some kind. Whether this means sz or not I have no idea. It could be a physical, organic problem. You need to ask your gp.
Your problem solving difficulties could be any number of things including physical ailments. I would see your gp first to rule out anything physical before jumping to the conclusion that it’s sz.
In fact, all your issues sound like they could have a physical basis. I would see a gp if I were you.
I can relate to having no thoughts or, rather, almost none. If you’re thinking you have no thoughts that’s a thought. I read Carlos Castaneda who wrote the crux of sorcery was stopping your internal dialogue and like a fool learned how to do it. Rather, it’s a monologue, and I have suffered terribly without it. I have thoughts but no stream of consciousness, or, rather, it’s not what it once was. I am trying to get a normal stream of consciousness back because I would like to be a writer. It’s a funny thing, everyone believes they could relax if they had no thoughts and it’s untrue, you stop relaxing totally, you have no thoughts so you have to make an action. Luckily, I could still sleep but even watching a movie was a job. This lasted about 30 years where I was seriously deficient in thought and then I started to relax and it was enjoyable. But my conscious mind is like a pinprick and my subconscious is way way large. My subconscious mind was flooded with a TON of thought, which I have some awareness of. A person can talk incessantly for an eternity and not repeat himself. But I don’t know if this is schizophrenia.
thanks for the input, I knew someone would respond like this though. It’s just frustrating because I’ve been going to the doctors for the past couple years to try and rule stuff out. Nothing has come of it yet. If I do have schizophrenia, i guess the only hope I have is to start exercising (to deal with cognitive symptoms). The thing is, I just have so much self stigma, every day feels like im climbing a mountain.
Can I ask you what prompted you to think you might have schizophrenia all those years ago if you never had hallucinations or delusions? The negative and cognitive symptoms you describe are also consistent with depression. But ultimately only the doctor can tell.
My mom has it. And I started noticing odd disturbances to my vision like 4 years ago. Also, anhedonia etc. The more I think about it, the stupider I feel to think that it is anything but schizophrenia.
Kinda, not really. They gave me abilify, but there wasn’t like an official diagnosis or anything. I haven’t really been on meds for the past few months. The only thing that sort of seems to help me is NAC. Sarcosine stopped working for me a while ago unfortunately.
You mention that you have no thoughts, did you used to be able to hear your thoughts before the illness?
Some drugs and medications can stop people hearing their own thoughts, and also cause cognitive impairment, Paroxetine is especially likely to cause this, and often it is irreversible.
I don’t really know, to be honest. I feel my thoughts (the few that i do have) are a lot quiter than they used to be. Infact, the whole world just feels quite these days. I’m not able to interpret sounds from outside my apartment in a useful way. As in sounds used to have an emotion to them. Now everything sounds paper thin.
I guess I derailed off your question a little bit. I used to have an inner monologue, and that is definitely gone. Like the thoughts you have in the morning of what you want to do for the day.
Doctors are very professional for the most part and won’t do things like gaslight you. Getting a schizophrenia diagnosis isn’t that bad, either. Quite possible to have SZ and also have a quality life. The key is early intervention. See your doctor, be 100% honest with your doctor, and do what you’re told to while taking what you’re told to even if you don’t like it. That’s the fastest path to meaningful recovery.
Thank-you. And I’ll consider getting on some sort of mediation. If anything, I think sarcosine and NAC are what have kept me sane these past four years. (And maybe have slowed the onset of the illness, maybe?)
I was only on abilify for a short amount of time. And it just made me feel restless. And I’m not anti med or anything, it just seems pointless to take medication if im not actively hallucinating.
I’m not a doctor so I can’t say. I have observed that those who aren’t treated get much worse much faster than those who are treated. I’ve had SZ for over 25 years and I’ve seen enough to know that when SZs let themselves go low enough downhill for long enough, they don’t come back all the way. There are a couple of them around here – they always sound like broken chatbots when they post. You’ll know them when you see them. They’re a good reminder to me to stay on my meds.
If your world is quieter now than it was before, then most likely you were psychotic before, even though you don’t believe you were hallucinating or delusional. @Gecko
It is most common for people to get a diagnosis of schizophrenia if they have psychotic symptoms, there are other kinds of schizophrenia such as simple schizophrenia and Pseudo Neurotic schizophrenia which have similar negative and cognitive symptoms, but mostly the patient gets misdiagnosed with depression.