There's too much going on

DX'd - Other
#1

Do you ever just feel bitter and don’t want to feel that way? I don’t want this stupid job or these classes I don’t care about. My house is constantly loud all the time and I feel like whatever I’m doing is interrupted every 5 seconds. I’m sleepy all the time and can barely even get done the things I need to much less dredge up time and energy to socialize or do fun things. I have no willpower to do fun things anyways. I can’t stop thinking about how life is pointless and that I don’t really want to be here. And then my dad is all like “How about a smile?? Show me a smile!!” Shut up, I have emotions other than happy, I’m sick of smiling all the time.

I’m afraid of death but I just want this all to be over with. I’m too cowardly to kill myself so I just go around passively hoping something else will.

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#2

It’s not cowardly not to kill yourself. I think suicide is cowardly. It’s taking an easy way out insted of waiting and seeing if things get better.

Things pass. Everything passes.

I get that things feel pointless right now but if you don’t give up, things will get better. I’m not saying you’ve given up, by any means, but I’m telling you not to.

I know this is probably a useless response, but have you told your PDOC about these feelings? Or your father? Or both?

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#3

Contact sports, always made me feel better :wink:

Nothing like punching someone in the face to make you feel better, only they can do the same back, which makes it more fun!..