Do you ever just feel bitter and don’t want to feel that way? I don’t want this stupid job or these classes I don’t care about. My house is constantly loud all the time and I feel like whatever I’m doing is interrupted every 5 seconds. I’m sleepy all the time and can barely even get done the things I need to much less dredge up time and energy to socialize or do fun things. I have no willpower to do fun things anyways. I can’t stop thinking about how life is pointless and that I don’t really want to be here. And then my dad is all like “How about a smile?? Show me a smile!!” Shut up, I have emotions other than happy, I’m sick of smiling all the time.
I’m afraid of death but I just want this all to be over with. I’m too cowardly to kill myself so I just go around passively hoping something else will.