Typotypo1235567890
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but to be fair i am very clueless about open relationships and would worry that they guy would get stis going with other girls and things.
and maybe it just doesnt feel right to be with many people. or even just 2 others
I have a lot of friends who have been in/are in open relationships. In my experience, it seems a lot better on paper than it is in real life. In reality, people experience a ton of jealousy, but never talk openly about it because they want to seem āmore evolvedā than that, so instead they let the resentment build until it all explodes. Out of all the open relationships I have seen, only 2 are still together. In one of them, they are two gay men who sometimes invite a third to join them in bed,but do not pursue relationships with anyone else. In another, they are a husband and wife who got married right out of high school, then realized they were better off as friends,but still want to stay married for tax purposes. So they are legally married and live together, but they do not have sex or date each other. Both of them are dating someone else.
The thing about open relationships that a lot of people dont understand is that it requires MORE work, not less. You have to be devoted to the emotional needs of multiple people and work out group schedules to figure out when dates can happen and such. You have to respect people who your partner dates, and be up front about when you feel jealous and have group discussions about it. You have to tell each other about all sexual partners and make sure everyone is getting tested regularly. You have to accept the risk that your partner(s) might find someone else they like more than you, and then you might get left behind. Too many people go into it as a way to avoid commitment, not realizing that it is actually even more commitment.
I will also say, as someone who has tried asexual polyamory, you very quickly get excluded from a lot of romantic partner activities because someone who is having sex would rather do those things with someone they are having sex with. I very quickly got shoved into the ābest friend to hang with when all other plans fall throughā box, which did not make me feel very safe and loved. I am much happier being in a monogamous relationship with someone who is totally fine with not having sex.
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thankyou so much Ninjastar that was insightful.
i am just so scared that I will relapse when i go into another relationship, monogamous.
i guess that, it simply means i am not in the right place to be considering that.
i really HOPE that a day arrives where i do not feel scared about being with someone in the sense of psychosis risk. and then i can actually enter a monogamous relationship.
this is something that i must address in therapy.
thanks again, Ninjastar
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Tobias funke has a good view on open relationships
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Typotypotypowghbgdhjgfgbhffvoongfgjvfdthvvf
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wow i canāt believe i never thought about it like this thread wise i am so naive,ā¦
Typotypotypo
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Itās good to think out loud and learn sometimes, In my opinion and experience usually an open relationship starts when one person is unhappy and thinks sleeping around will make them happy, the other partner is devastated but wants to be supportive and goes along with it until it dissolves, maybe for some it works out, but are they happy? Things to think about. I am no expert if anyone else has experience chime in.
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what is your avatar picture?
Tupotypotypo
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āIf you are doing this to keep your relationship alive, consider letting it die. If you are not enough, youāll never be.ā
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i donāt think an open relationship would be for meā¦ things are complex already in a monogamous relationship.
But you should do what feels right for you though.
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i find it hard to believe that asexual men exist but maybe there really is
men who actually donāt want to have sex, not just because of some medication or whatnot
i do not want to make a man depriived of something so instinctive just to be with me that is why i wonder
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yea itās hard when you are asexual and likes somebody who needs sex in their lifeā¦ itās also one of the reasons i donāt look really for relationships anymore.
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do you have asexual community groups you could join?
even then i wonder sometimes if they are asexual. but i am just being naive, idk
maybe they really are
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My avatar is a shadow trooper from star wars.
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hmmm community groups would be hard for me i thinkā¦ itās good idea but i donāt think i will do well there. Did you join group like that?
I would fear they would want sex anyways and it would make the relationship hard.
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In my early 20ās I was a regular at a swingers club, while in an open relationship.
Sex was fun, the thrill of a new partner every night, orgies, and BDSM shows.
It all started well meaning enough, but it devolved into a mess of tangled emotions, jealousy, and possessiveness. Drugs were also a problem.
People got hurt, friends turned on each other, relationships were destroyed. I had a bad habit of sleeping with married women.
It was hard on me, I realize that as Iāve gotten older. Iām happy now, have my fiancĆ©e and am strictly monogamous.
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I would not want a open relationship at this point in my life, if Iām with someone, Iām in it 100%
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