Schizophrenia.com

"The world tastes rotten. The flowers are blue

#1

…nothing in the garden is growing,
they’re all disgusted with you."

They keep repeating this over and over and over again… I have not been able to draw for some time now, it is not for lack of creativity as I have plenty of ideas, I just don’t have the desire to do anything but come home and watch TV with K to drown out the voices. I have not self harmed in a week and the desire is driving me nuts. I called to set up an appointment with this new place called Strength of Mind which came recommended. They do not have openings immediately to see me but will call back to set up a schedule. I started taking some Celexa that I had previously been prescribed, K said i was depressed and perhaps it would help. I only have pills to make it till Thursday and I am worried about the withdrawals from coming off. Though I only started it on Saturday, maybe they won’t be that bad.

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#2

Ive been on Celexa. It takes a month to work, you wont go in withdrawal either. Try NAMI meetings, you would be surprised to find other people like you.

I have been looking for your lunch break sketches, but hey we all have good times and bad times. You’ll come through. Medications can and often do make a world of difference, living with your fiance is also very very good for you.

Dont listen to the voices. Im proud of you for not engaging in self harm, I know its hard not to, I still think about carving the word “pain” into my chest sometimes. But that would turn people off when they see that, LOL.

I think you need to see a therapist and a psychiatrist. Meds are the sword, insight is the shield. Go get someone to make you a nice sword and shield. Then stab schizophrenia in the taint. Bash its head in with the edge of the shield too. Just show no mercy on schizophrenia, it wont show you any mercy.

I really like your posts and I am rooting for you. But from my experience, meds and therapy are a necessity. I am in remission and thats my story. I know you might be opposed to meds or even therapy, but it made me quit suffering by 90%. Im still disturbed, sure, but I am not psychotic. How can one not be disturbed after this crap?

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#3

Thank you kindly. I am scared to death of being honest about what goes on in my head. I feel like a monster living in the skin of a shy tired filthy girl. I feel like I deserve to be locked away, but I don’t want that as my fate.

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#4

thats the illness speaking. Youre a good person and you love your fiance, your mind plays tricks on you but you are still you despite that. Private message me if you want to talk. You sound like you could use someone to talk to.

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#5

Mortimer - such a sweet couple of posts. Fair play.

Hun - im having a bit of a time with it. The voices keep at me, telling me im going to jail. Then telling me that im not going to jail. Im so sick of it. Over and over ad infinitum.

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