I ‘m writing this, because I totally need help. I found this site some months ago, but couldn’ t write, because I thought I couldn’ t get help. I 'm thirty years old, and about my whole life (since I was 7) I have been struggling with schizophrenia. I kept it as a secret many years ago, but then couldn’t stand hiding it from others anymore, I used to tell it to everyone. Now this has been reduced a bit.
Anyway, ll my life I have been very depressed because I 've been facing my “daemons” and that is really tiring psychologically. I have been through many dark paths, people used to make fun of me or even don’t pay me any attention like I never existed, never was really happy, and now this has gotten worse, because the meds don’t work for me and I ‘m facing voices and “ideas”. I don’ t have many friends, in older times I used to have none in my city, I never had a good time with my ex-boyfriends, most of my life I have been lonely and really noone could understand what I was going through because I 've had been through very hard times.
I never was optimistic and I find this logical when nothing goes well in my life. I hate everything and perhaps everyone because noone can understand me, perhaps not so much people with the same suffering as mine. I don’t want to commit suicide, but I really can’t stand my life anymore. I also haven’t got libido for 6 years. Nothing goes well in my life and never was.
Any ideas to stop suffering? I suffer everyday, each hour of the day, I 'm thinking of the illness and the stigma, since meds don’t work for me, my doctor said perhaps I 'll be well in the future, but also told me that this illness gets worse every 10 years. I would really appreciate your advice and sorry for the long intro.