me to an employee in a bookstore, “excuse me can you help me find the self help section?”
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Bill Nye The Science Guy reads a book by L Ron Hubbard and becomes Bill Nye The Scientology Guy.
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Uhh that’s dirty.
Why did the ghost cross the street?
No body knows 
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Why did the squirrel get cross on the road?
BC it’s nuts were too big
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ask your doctor if snake oil is right for you.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Hey, that’s not funny , GTF out until you think of something funnier.”
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mmmm…beer…how I long for another beer…I had a six pack of peroni last week and man was that refreshing on a hot day !!
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Cat walks into a bar and teleports to another then stinks what I have down ?
Craigslist really put the ass in classified ads.
The original headline for the titanic sinking originally read:
Unsinkable ship suffers an iceberg malfunction
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To think that the unsinkable ship would sink was unthinkable.
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Watch the best prison cooks face-off on the next episode of Gordon Ramsey’s Mastershiv. “this ramen is divine”
a diversified portfolio is good that’s why i bought from the franklin mint both the jesus last supper plates and the john wayne plates.
i guess plate speculators predicted scarcity of plates.
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So I went on my first date yesterday at a Chinese buffet. She was a 300 pound bent pole dancer. We talked about how many times I fell out of her tree in the backyard under the moonlit night and she told me of her volunteer work at the community center as a pool plug. She eventually stated that she wasn’t looking for a serious relationship at the time and her husband beside her said they’d be open to another date in a year. They said goodbye and she carried her husband out.
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