Two schizophrenics walk into a bar, ordered two drinks, drank them and left.
And everybody in the bar said, "Those two schizophrenics ordered two drinks, drank them and left.
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One schizofrenic walks into a bar to save the planet from the flame wich is burning on the spaceship of God and his minions, the aliens.
They probably succeeded
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One schizophrenic walks into the visual hallucination of a bar. He hears a voice asking “fancy a drink?” So he think “wow they offer me to drink, I must be dead and this is Heaven” so then he kills himself just to test this theory.
Morale: take your meds folks.
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Wow, that took a turn
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Two schizophrenics are looking up at the moon. One a brunette says I wonder which is closer Florida or the moon. The other a blond, says duh can you see Florida.
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Sounds like me the night I discovered Baily’s.
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Two schizophrenics walk into a bar. One says to the other, “nice night eh?”. The bartender says “who you talking to son?”…There was one schizophrenic in the bar that night…
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Is this dark? Loool
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Sounds like an episode of “The Twilight Zone.”
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Two shizophrenics walk into a bar one night and as they went through the door one says, wow who was that masked man. and they started laughing because it was a little tense, but they could handle it!
Moral: just one.
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A piece of the highway walks into a bar. He says give me the strongest drink you got. The barman says are you sure? The piece of highway says I am really tough I can handle it.
The barman starts to pour the drink when in walk another bit of road except this one is painted red. The original bit of highway takes one look at him and bolts for the door.
The barman says what’s wrong? I thought you are tough?
The bit of highway point to the red road but and says I might be tough but this guy is a cycle path
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And Henny Youngman and Abbot & Costello roll over in their graves, happy and secure in the fact that no one on this thread is anywhere near as funny as them.
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2 schizophrenics walk into a bar. One has positive symptoms only and the other has negative symptoms only. They bump into each other and cancel each other out , leaving the bill to Elyn Saks.
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I heard that really happened.
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One schizofrenic walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for 20 shots. The bartender replies “big night e?”
Yes, me and my friends have a telepatic session. He replies. The bartender says Did your friends are on the way?
The schizophrenic laugh and replies. My friends are at work. I drink to get them drunk. That’s what they asked me this morning.
His friends all die from alcohol poisoning
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Lioil good one 57755
One schizofrenic asked another
-how do you read my mind?
-I quit my meds and got my powers back. He answered
Lalammma
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One schizofrenic wants to loose his job and get the big bonus, but he can’t quit.
So he disclosed his diagnosis
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Was it a gay bar?
1 Like