I found the solipsist theory once upon a time in my life when I was 16. I recall it clearly, and these were times I’ve never forgotten. My life elevated to a fever pitch of mania and sociopathy. I tragically abandoned moralism that was held in me by Roman Christian and US Military parochialism. Right and wrong, right and wrong. My life diverged from logic that was held close by me through the school work academia. I graduated shortly after turning 17 because of some technical workings of the credit system between the two high schools I had attended, and then I entered the adult world having no preparation what so ever.
Solipsism was working in a boarding school as a teen for a year. As an adult in the world thereafter it had no place. The expectations, means, dues, and pressures socially and financially…well, those were not something solipsism could solve for.
I resorted to religion and cultism. I would improvise on these things in a bizzare way for a few years. This was not something that was going to solve for my problems.
Imagine if you were the only European white person to sail to Indo Australia 10,000 years ago. They are religious. Their paradigms and societies would not allow for you to live let alone prosper freely. That was my disposition with the people of all of the cities I lived in. I didn’t understand this. I denied this. Even my family disputed my relevance and associative value to them. There are many attempts to contact with past friends and family that were never replied to, and the very few who did would not be anyone of any mind to help me solve for the expectations, means, dues, and pressures socially and financially.
The mental alchemy I’d perform on myself including with use of entheogens would cause severe agnosis of my faculties. I spent 20 years searching, trying to figure out the world, myself, and what the hell was going on. When I was funded to start a tree service contracting company, I worked feverishly trying to succeed and master this business and trade. I was funded for being so diligent, sharp, insightful, and intent as a baseball player before this. I’d be funded by the same man to start an online stock trading office regimen later on.
This pursuit of business and success for myself, reputation, family making, and the funder opened the door of the internet and anthropology. I studied intently trying to solve for everything I had been perturbed by all my life. I would study 100 hours a week no time off for weekends and often no sleep at night. I would wake to the study, and I’d fall asleep in the middle of my work…for years.
That led to informationlogy, then mindology and paradigmology. I’d apply my rigorous regimen around this mine until the mine ran dry except to keep finding the same facts over.
And today I find solipsism again.
I uncovered like under a glacier that’s melted off. It works. It has mindological function. I had cursed this all of these years, but it mends a life in ruin and insolent PTSD. Hmmmm, I have to give it some thought then.
Solipsism is dangerous in the wrong hands. Those that cannot justify it logically, the philosophical kind, will not find it. They are safe from it, and others are safer from them.
What of the moralist, well rounded, seasoned intellect with this informationological artifact?
The solipsist theory is simply that one is mind, and that mind is all one can possibly know for sure. What mind portrays whether it’s the world or the self may not be necessarily. The mind is information, and information functions by informationology. If all aggregate in the mind are subject + predicate aggregate representing and meaning all else including the self, then what would mean self is not quite the self, or is it?
The mind is self, and therefore the information it is is self. Information is of informationology and thus logic, so is the self informationlogy and logic? It’s the core of the universe and the core of oneself. It precedes both, and it’s prerequisite for both to occur.
Yes, self is, mind is, information is, logic is, informationology is. Predicate matrix or paradigmology.
It goes without saying this predicate substance material phenomenon is the brain laden with. What’s that brain? What a brain, sigh.
When I get down to it I am a phantasmagorical thing. I say this is to myself personal. I don’t mean to boast superiority vs. inferiority to anyone else.
The reference to the concept, “I know that I know not,” is derived from this facet of the grand truth.
Take this fact for example. It’s known that I suffer from agnosis. Yes, I suffer from insolent PTSD, fallacious and prohibitive superceptions, and I suffer from anthrophobia. If it wasn’t for this, no walls would have closed in on me, and I’d have thought of myself as a popular and worthy tribic man out there. I’d never have revealed to myself what I have. I’d never be so seasoned, experienced, and intellectual because I’d have never stepped out of the societal role “with the tribe.”
The mindological problems crushed me down. The disposition with the natives crushed me down in combination. Down, down, down in a geological sense until I hit a vein of information on the internet, and there’d I’d mine, think, and write my way to and through informationology, mindology, and paradigmology.
I’d be forced to forge my way through the previously unbearable barriers to this point of understanding by no other way but these mindological maladies and dispositions with the natives.
To find all of this and ultimately this logic and solipsism I would have to suffer the perpetual pressures and social anguish in my mindology and paradigm. Vice versa to find it would mean to mend these pressures, maladies, and anguish.
The more these mishaps and disdaining slights sever me from what would be an ordinary tribic role in common commendation from the natives, and the more that my paradigm, character, and behavior is disfigured not to mention my financial status, the more I dig intellectually.
My business, financial, and athletic regimens are my digging. It’s a perpetual combination. One forces the other. The carrot on the stick is the possibility of relief some day. It’s also interest in the success, knowledge, and self reliability.
These hardship do also perpetuate the reliance on the solipsist theory.
Myself is not myself all of the time. It’s rifters and urges, superceptions and distractions. It isn’t to have full control. It’s to have half control.
So in regard to the informationological solipsist question about the existence or relevance of the predicatory self, and I don’t mean the real self that the mindological graphicals represent, then these often are so foul, insolent, and dimented that I absolutely need the solipsist theory along with all of this mindology and informationlogy just to bear this rifting self and self grafting.
It has been a tormenting hardship to bear the grafting of the crazed rifter and the tormented rifter in dual orbit with each other in place of my true sense of self. That true sense of self would be my sensible self of course, and a sensible state of mind would only come from a thorough and considerate course of self analysis to define what is and isn’t the self.
The self is what solipsism is all about apart from informationlogy and logic which is self I find. That’s kind of grandiose I think. Profound. Hehe.
The ego’s automatica which I’ve called it or the endocrinology that is key started by the illusory graphicals are signals that are in disrepair in me. These signals are fouled in me by my own rifters, and they are further confounded by the natives chanting the anthems that I’m an untouchable caste of slaves to them. The walls do cave in from out and from within.
It’s quite an existential predicament. I had no idea it would have ever come to this when I was a boy I remember in baby blue hue vivid, panoramic, paradigm.
It’s to be mental stalactite and stalagmite from top and bottom, and to be in between their points which constantly impinge on my mind emanating fear, inanity, bizzaro world. It’s perpetual condemnation, and no one can see it. No one can know this is. It’s mind. Even to describe it is a feat, and what’s more is anyone who could understand it which hasn’t happened.
It’s a strange predicatory state of phenomena in the universe…
…and…it is self…the information, the paradigm, and so the solipsism stops the impingement. It deactivates the endocrinology, and the points don’t dilapidate what it is.
I know it is self on self here, but this is what it is like, and the solipsism removes the vice that I cannot stand still in and bear at all as another person will approach me in my kitchen as though a wild cat were released under my skin. It’s inexplicable, but it is. No person can understand it, and their further disdain and condemnation of me about this further binds this vice situation over me.
With the solipsism I can throw all of these predicatory graphicals and signals away, the whole world in view, the self, and all words and worries…completely away. Disregard them while I carry out my daily routine.
Solipsism is freeing. I can look up, look out, and ponder within about the distant matters with confidence I can achieve with anyone near and about. It’s the key from the slavery in the mystery that the cave is laden with.
When I found solipsism the first time it was because the natives including family had a disposition with me, and it was because I had a philosopher for a literature teacher who enlightened me. When I thought rigidly and thoroughly about the concepts of wisdom he’d spoke in class, it was like rocket fuel inside of me. When I found solipsism, this would be the pinnacle.
I climbed socially like a bat out of hell. I then could take anyone. I used to say, “I could play anyone.” I could too. This was profound to me when I could only succumb to inner frailty before that year. Had I had stayed in that school one more year continuing the same regimen and beliefs I’d have adapted very well with the natives, had a family, performed professionally, and so forth rudimentarily.
The solipsism freed, and from the freedom from the cave of mindological slavery came profound social adventure. With profound social adventure I’d learn to be a better conversationalist with nuance and tenacity. I’d learn to “play anyone.” I’d learn to earn respect from people. I’d learn to navigate and establish myself among the natives. I graduated a year early, and I’d never complete this development in myself.
In the vacuum of absence without any family or friends and only the adult pressures and certainly no real understanding of what I had done to succeed that much for the first time in my life the walls caved in, and I was ruined. I’d returned to the slavery of the cave. I’d dwell in shambles and the shackles for 20 years.
On the 21st year I’d find the key, find the freedom, and like a bat out of hell sky rocket with several successes.
Keep in mind my toils were much, heavy laden, complex, and brave. I learned a lot, experienced a lot. I’m well researched in many things putting me in a unique position with this key of mindoloical freedom. 2019 will be the most interesting year in my life yet. It all turns back around this year.
