The shame of never having worked

It’s worse when I am going through one of my “socially dysfunctional and weak, but not mentally ill” trains of thought.

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Are you ashamed because others make you feel that way and supress you and don’t encourage you or appreciate what you do and can do as well as who you are and what you may contribute such as a smile, a post , a hi or something…

I think you should be proud of your self for what you can and do do and encourage and prop yourself to do good deeds or tasks that you feel you can do.

This is individual depending on who you are and when and etc

Cleaning, doing dishes, making food can be huge tasks to be proud of.

Some people need help with these things.
Even those with mental illness can feel so overwhelmed or not coping so they need bit of help with basic every day living.

If you master these things or are capable of doing them maybe you can do more if you up to it .
You might not be up for most jobs but maybe there’s something that you could feel up to.

You may know yourself.

If I push myself to far or others expect things from me I’m not up too it makes me feel confused,overwhelmed etc

I also have social difficulties and don’t seem to fit in any cultures or religions etc but I adore my horse and the woman who she is agisted with is so nice and one of minority i e been able have little chat with.

Hope they are well.

Volunteer work can be looked in to if and when one is up for it for those who can’t do employment.

I don’t like it when people incite hate and try make disabled people feel guilty and supress and put them down etc

Maybe Do what you can do and maybe that will increase in future.



Self-respect is not determined by whether you worked or not, but in the dignity of your character.

You have that in spades.


I have spent many years working but I don’t work now and sometimes I am ashamed of that but I will tell you what I think.
I am a wonderful person (so are you) and people who work are very blessed because they are able to work. I am not able to work right now so I am on SSDI. It is unfortunate, but it is nothing to be ashamed of! I know there may be people who resent people like me but no one would choose to live on $15k year when they could be working and making $35K year (or $50, $75 or $100K or more). They should have empathy but they don’t.

I know it’s hard. I get embarrassed too, at times. But I wish I didn’t because it’s wrong. I have nothing to be embarrassed of and neither do you.


my brother and I only worked at one job before we got ssi. he worked at a fast food joint for about 4 months and then when he got his ssi he quit. then with me I worked at a big name retail store for about 9 months but lost my job after freaking out.

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@Daimon I hope you can feel better soon.

Although I don’t think it about others I think on a personal level,to some degree, I’ve bought into the latent negativity and stigma which has become more open in recent years.

I was not quite 17 when I first saw a psychiatrist and was hospitalised for the first time at the start of what should have been my A level term.

Since then I have been on and off the psychiatric radar(periods off being when we moved and GPs didn’t follow through in getting me connected with the local mental health services), though mostly on for the last 42 years.

I think a lot of the self stigmatisation stems from not always accepting I am genuinely ill/disabled and thinking I am just socially dysfunctional.

Although I have stayed on my depot, because I have enough insight to accept that others may be better judges of my mental state than myself, I do often question whether I need it.
I guess they think I need it by the way they are quick to phone sometimes if I am only 30 minutes later than my usual time of coming , and the way they once came round to the flat to give it to me.

@firemonkey You don’t have a job. You have a life calling, which is better. You research mental illness for those of us who can’t go out there and find peer reviewed scientific articles on our condition. You contribute so much that we should probably pay you, but we don’t, because we’re cheap. :slight_smile:


Well said @metime


I only hope I can continue to do my little bit to help. One of the things that worries me about a future move is the thought of being disconnected from the internet, and not being able to be on forums such as this.

There are so many good,kind and inspirational people here.