nothing is ok with me in the evenings. maybe its du to my inactivity in the day. its probably normal to be impatient to feel fine after all these years of sickness and darkness but ill have to make more and more efforts… i cant imagine anymore just to sit outside for a coffee with friends. i get paranoid, i am even paranoid around my schizophrenic friend, probably i feel still spied by the other people… i see a slight progress in the day, i think less in the day which is good. i feel less the need to scream outside because of the paranoia. but if i spend more time at my house it will be tough…
how many years you were inactive for some of you here? my body needs movement also i guess. i want my feelings back. i want a personality also. i wanna some kind of spirit which i dont feel. this is the only form which i see for an eventual recovery… but what tells me it can change after years of lack of desire, lack of motivation plus all my dumb things in my small head?
does the meds really helped you? i dont want to talk about suicide right now, i was suicidal for years without the treatment. now i want to live but the happy life i cant see it still…
What you write, I could have written myself. I have been inactive many, many years, too. I have no answers, sometimes a little hope, sometimes not. I am easily defeated so social give and take is scary.
yeah, after all we are sick… we need to continue struggling but i am starting to get old… i am afraid to remain forever alone. i was always alone. i am not @Sarad who can socialise, is not afraid, who is active for example etc etc… i couldn’t get out of bed already when i was 12… i was jealous that my friend girl could get up early in the morning and enjoy the early smells of the morning, to be energetic and not in the fog of some kind of dumbness etc etc… now its to a point of inhuman pain…plus the pain in my soul…its physical people wow :/… i could not handle a boyfriend at my house. i need a calm at my house but its a pitty…
yeah, lets hope. my mother says to me to pray, i dont want to to be honest…
everybody grows up around me and me, i am stuck here with my symptoms since years. its scary isn’t it? or maybe i worry for nothing here? heheh…
I think your worries are understood here.
i know, a lots of people here. i think internet is great though for lonely people like me and even for not so lonely ones… i would die if i only had my tv 
Yeah, this forum is important to me, too. There was a time when all there was was a tv or a phone or a radio. When my mother was very young, there wasn’t even that. Just reading.
I’d like some schizophrenic friends. They’d be the ones who could really understand. I thought about starting a schizophrenia club or support group in town. There ought to be 160 or so wandering about town maybe I could get a handful of them to show up. Do you live in a big town that has such a group? Maybe you would feel less anxious or paranoid around others like your schizo phrenic friend. 
I’ve been pouring my energy into finding supplements or other solutions like brain exercises to try to overcome the negative symptoms you’re talking about. I think you shouldn’t give up hope that you can find a solution. There’s things we can take to help with the brain fog and lack of motivation and interest in things.
I wish I had a better sense of humor, my personality back, my memory back etc. … I’m going to keep working at it. Sometimes I don’t even know where to start with basic tasks. It’s tough to be us but it could be worse that’s for sure.
@PinCushion, how did you got out from the circle of inactivity? the meds helped you on this? i think we need this. i mean-movement, socializing, to be curious, to work on ourselves etc etc… how many years were you inactive? and in which way- like me(with net and tv mainly)?
i would like a schizophrenic friend also
@frencheese, in fact i have some mystical fears precisely from others schizophrenics… i see my friend at my house. plus she is my friend since forever, i am attached to her like a kido :). yeah, we should work on ourselves, i think its the only way…
You are so lucky to have such a great friend who is also schizophrenic. I have to admit I’m a little jealous. My one good friend is in Indiana and she has ADHD and is very understanding but it’s not really the same thing. Considering we’re 1% of the population you are so blessed to have met each other.
she said once that we met ourselves because we were both crazy. i found another girl who was visitng me for years, who is also ill but she is too negative also. plus, i sleep sometimes with one schizophrenic guy. i am surrounded by crazy ones and its not healthy sometimes for me, believe me…
20 years maybe. I’m still inactive. I do not wake up in the morning eager to do a days activities. I only wanted rest.
Most of the days I would also stay in bed Anna, but I have this little fellow who wants to eat, go out and also have thousands of wishes, so I need to get my ass out and do life… Nobody asks how but it’s a shitty story anyway.
The point is that pushing yourself to get out and do things is sometimes more painful than staying in bed but in the long term it is most certainly better for you. If anything you will be proud of yourself for making that little step.
20 years is an achievement. I have done sixteen with this thing called sz, and I make decent progress. Some days I feel very suicidal. Many times thought of jumping before a train but still I cannot lose to it though it very much wants me to give up.
My advice : Keep going. Step-by-step. There will be defeats and small victories each day. What matters is that you _have_dignity in spite of what it tries to undermine in you.