the past few weeks i’ve been getting more and more depressed. really down in the dumps. pondering life almost non stop. contemplating suicide. the voices don’t really stop, i can’t seem to do much, i get no pleasure out of anything really, i have almost no ambition, no job (but i am connecting with an agency next week to help me find one), no desire to live, no real passions, video games are a time waster, everything is a time waster…
sometimes i see life as not worth living, even if i had schizophrenia or not. it just seems so futile to me, so routine, and just, bland. not to mention living on disability with a meager income, having a low ceiling for life.
how do you guys feel about life? are you happy with the situation you are in, your illness, your state of mind, your financial well being for the future? all these things worry the hell out of me.