When I get on buses, they terminate. When I get on trains, they cancel or delay. Ive mentioned before I feel this is a sign that my life is going to end.
Last few weeks Ive taken a bigger interest in my local magpies. Its winter, and I want to feed them. Usually a pair comes, a couple; as they mate for life. I feed them a dish of mealworms each morning. They normally come throughout the day. Well stocked! Last few days, Ive observed that only the female is coming for mealworms. Ive sat here and deciphered that it means Im going to die and my wife will be alone n without me.
I had a similar thing going on with the weather. Believing that whenever it changed it signified something after a social interaction. Sun meaning joy, rain meaning sorrow. That was before when I was really bad though. Have you spoken to your GP about this?
I mentioned it to Psych at my quarterly meeting. He said “Yeah. With paranoid schizophrenia, particularly with treatment resistance - you’re going to have a rollercoaster of bad days and worser days. You know what you’re dealing with. Always remember you can cast doubt on these things”…. it reassured me a bit, it could be the illness, but then when I see the magpie, it becomes real again. And I dont want to punish the magpie by not feeding her or by letting my cat get her. Its a disturbing situation.
A Franciscan sees the light and says “Bless you Lord for this wonderful light”. A Dominican sees it and says “First lets discuss what light actually is…”. Then a Jesuit comes and says “Lets just take the lightbulb out and be done with it”
