Locally conducted polls have consistently shown that a significant minority of forum members don’t believe that I suffer from schizophrenia and/or that my unusual beliefs are not truly delusional. Whilst encouraging, these results have failed to completely assuage my psychiatric hypochondriasis. In short, to put it on a more scientific footing: am I mad as a March hare? Listed below are most, if not all, my unusual beliefs from the last three years. Most of them were transient, and virtually none held with absolute conviction, I was always in two minds about them.
The question is, is to possible to have held all these beliefs (typically with low conviction) and NOT suffer from a psychotic disorder?
Unusual Beliefs:
I was replaced with an identical copy of myself.
The hospital I was in was replaced by an identical looking building.
My brain literally moved location.
I could contact telepathically with trees.
Rain is evil, perhaps a hoax.
The universe was born 3 years ago, on 24 May 2018 to be precise.
I am the only “human” in the universe.
I co-created the universe with the devil.
Trees, not men, are the true children of god.
I don’t exist.
I don’t suffer from SZ, just OCD.
Other people are just other versions of myself within the simulation.
The devil wants to keep me alive in order to use my divine spark to hold the “universe” together.
So, what do you think? Evidence of genuine psychosis despite the low degree of conviction, or just a quasi-psychotic style of thinking, eccentric perhaps but not that serious?
Ya, I did my research and heard about SSP (Secret Space Program Super Soldiers). I dream about it, aliens, and have memories of past lives. I figured they took me (the aliens) (or government) in 2011 at college. That’s one theory. I don’t know if I’m remembering a different life or not. But it was some sort of mk ultra stuff. Donald Marshall Talks about it. The Illuminati and aliens.
Remember, people will either encourage you; say you don’t have it to console you or mess with you; and if you ask enough people you’ll get a confirmation. Remember we are schizophrenic. I would ask a family member or doctor. Not some guy off the street to confirm your bias.
The whole cloning thing could have solved a paradox ie same timeline; I was in the montauk program going through monarch; and crap.
Aliens told me I been to Mars and stuff. I’ve been abducted hundreds of times by aliens if you include past lives. I’m immortal.
I also read they can insert beliefs, memories, and stuff into your brain/consciousness while dreaming and sleeping. I definitely got that going on.
I have a lot of severe trauma.
I have the whole victim mentality and victimhood and the whole “why me”. I became a believer in a higher power after this. I don’t know why they picked me. I heard stories of stuff like they got looking glass technology to see people’s futures and change the timeline to keep the Illuminati in control. That and they kidnap people for mars and experiments. I definitely feel this happened to me.
There’s something called Mars 20 and back. I’ve probably been through that several times before. I don’t know why I talk about it other then releasing the severe trauma in my head/brain.
Do you obsess about your delusions? The more I dwell or feed into them the more real the seem. The worst is mysteries and the unexplainable. When something unexplainable happens, normal people don’t notice. But some people do, and those people end up diving too deep, and appearing “psychotic” and sometimes it can feel like the mental health system is rigged against actually helping us get better. I feel like I’ve been on a solo journey to recovery. Nothing in mental hospitals helped me. The best I learned outside the standardized system of care, alt. holistic therapists and neuro-feedback or reading about eastern religions. All of it helped to some degree, and I fear that stigma is growing about people with schizophrenia. Not sure why, could be the pandemic and a cultural shift towards non-acceptance? Like cancel-culture. Like I am a pacifist and a progressive. I voted for the wrong person but I just think Biden is too artificial seeming, when is he going to give a speech or state of the union address? Sometimes he stumbles on his words so much he just spats nonsense, and I feel like he’s trying to draw upon too much daddy’s gonna make it better vibes when people are questioning the world. More needs to be done to combat misinformation, yeah, but do we need the NSA to be reading every freaking email and comment on google we make world wide web? I knew I was spied on before Snowden told everyone. It was pretty much common knowledge so why make him a scapegoat. I’m paranoid that Snowden is dead also and that all his interviews are being done through that fake video technology soooooo my paranoias can seem realistic and would trigger a normal person who was in my shoes haha
Hi there. I’d be particularly interested in knowing your answer to my post. Your diagnosis is schizotypal disorder rather than sz so it would be interesting to see what your take is. Could I just be schizotypal with all these beliefs?
I think it depends on how convicted you are/were in these beliefs. Whether it’s abstract thinking or pure psychosis or something in the middle. I don’t see you as a typical schizophrenic a lot of those beliefs are typical for schizotypi / schizotypal. They tend to be obsessed with the reality of the world. When i was in hospital last year, i was convinced i didn’t exist, somehow my soul or mind vanished.
There are a lot of schizotypals obsessed with religious thinking, and your examples could be such, just exaggerated.
A lot of schizotypals experience episodes of psychosis, so if you have been psychotic, you could still be schizotypal.
You don’t hear voices, you don’t have disorder of thought, you have kind of delusions, but as i understand you, you are in doubt whether it’s just abstract, religious thinking, and whether you are wrong in your beliefs. I don’t see your way of thinking as an example of frank psychosis, and you write very coherent and eloquent and you can’t do that if you are psychotic
I don’t know but when i first read you threads i thought they were typical examples of schizotypi.
In the end i don’t know how much it really matter in regard to you treatment, medicine or not, but if it matters to the way you understand yourself, then talk to your pdoc about it.
Thanks for the input. I’m pretty certain that I don’t suffer from any psychotic disorder. As you point out I have no formal thought disorder, no voices, paranoia and my unusual beliefs are just existentially driven philosophical musings, not real delusions. I keep bringing this up with my doctors but they seem committed to the sz diagnosis. I guess they don’t want to lose face.
Number 7 and 12 are just a kind of severe solipsism. That don’t mean that you don’t care about others.
I have known neurotypicals with just such an solipsism, it should not to be confused with narcissism or egocentric behavior.
Having doubts about such bizarre unprovable ideas is in my mind just as worrisome as conviction. Conviction is a derivative of incorrigibility and the latter is very much present in these doubts.
but it’s not so good.