What do you think about hitting up the one that got away? I met her 15 years ago in college. My work is sending me 500 miles to her side of town. I was thinking to meet her for coffee just to chat and check chemistry. Nothing ventured nothing gained or…move on already!
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It doesn’t hurt to try. 
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Have you guys kept in touch? It might be good.
I ran into an ex from 12 years ago at a friend’s wedding. It was good to just catch up and see who we had grown up to be. When we broke up, there were a lot of hurt feelings, and we were able to talk a lot about that and clear the air.
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If you can accept that there’s no chemistry when there isn’t then go for it. If you end up thinking “well she met for a coffee that must mean something” then maybe give it a skip.
No, we haven’t. We were fb friends briefly. I emailed her a few times. Her response was not encouraging.
The backstory is somewhat contemptuous. Her rebuffing my advance in college left me wounded, so much so I began with pot. You can imagine the clusterf* over such events. Maybe it’s time to let go, it’s crazy, I still think about her and it’s been 15 years.
Yeah, just let go. Also, you need to be able to handle rejection better. Try dating more with no expectations.
Depends what your expectations are. Do you want to make something happen? People change a lot in 15 years and she won’t be the same person she was 15 years ago. Are you just planning on playing it by ear? Or is your mind made up that you want a relationship with her? I can see having an innocent meeting with her and reminiscing and caching up. But you both may not be on the same page when it comes to a relationship.
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It depends on how you have broken up. If there were many hurt feelings from you, I wouldn’t hit her again.
No expectations. If something were to happen, I’d have to take the lead or at the very least listen intently for cues. I don’t even know if she still resides there or if she’s involved with someone. It’s basically a shot in the dark.
You might want to find out if she’s married.
We do have a mutual friend that I can ask.
Maybe you can meet other women (unless you really want to befriend your ex). You can, for example, meet women in a library or, if you like nightclubs and bars, go to those places to have fun and meet new people (do it sober).
I’m not that confident approaching women I don’t know in a library, bar, night club, anywhere really. I just really need advice with this one particular gal and whether I should even ask her to coffee.
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That is a good idea.
Man, if you can’t meet other women, why are you going to meet her again? You can meet her, of course, but you have to still be willing to approach other women. I would love to give advice, but you need to be willing to be open to meet any women, not just one woman.
But, if you want to meet her anyway, you may want to have a conversation via Messenger (if you’re Facebook friends) with her before having a date. Have fun with her and be authentic (even by Messenger).
I have feelings for her. We aren’t all Rico Sauve, some of us are shy, introverted, have past traumas that make dialogue difficult. I meet and talk to 100 people a night at work, half of those women. Matters of the heart aren’t as easy as just doing it. If it were, I’d just do it and not post about asking for help.
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Okay, man. Good luck!
Do you have a therapist ? Have you ever discussed her with them ?
Not to my current therapist, no. I’ve always kept what happened close to the vest. I really don’t want to trudge up the past, I think about it plenty.
Our mutual friend doesn’t know where she resides.
I think you should. It sounds like there’s quite a lot going on in your head with regards to her.
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