5 years after I broke up with her over the phonecall.
In the dream she was just chilling with her friend who I also know. Later she was with some russian guy with curly hair, buff and manic energy ( i think it was my brains way of giving me a distorted view of who she might be with now).
Also I tried to speak to her and we were chatting. It was really nice to talk to her again.
We only had a 6 month relationship during covid and i was emotionally immature and not mentally ill at the time. I was super disinhibited.
I wonder what she thinks of me.
Now I wake up and I feel like talking to her irl. Fck
Imo, if you haven’t tried a relationship with other girl since then, you could be very biased towards your old relationship. It would be very hard to be objective…
I had another relationship shortly after her. But during that second one thats when i had psychosis and i suspected she was cheating on me.
I miss my first girlfriend more. But not sure if i just miss being in a relationship more than her itself. Even though she was kind and gentle, I wasn’t all that happy. Wasn’t sure if i even loved her or if my expectations of love differed from what it actually is romantically if that makes sense.
Yeah I broke up with her so it wasn’t on good terms but it’s coming up to 4 years of no contact.
I dont think im ready to see her again but it would be nice? Although I dont know if I could handle finding out shes with someone else. Maybe i might reconnect when i find another girl.