To this thread of Temple_Door: [schizophrenia.com:8080/jiveforums/thread.jspa?threadID=83307&tstart=0]
Posted: Dec 4, 2013 7:17 PM
My difficulty in separating reality from fantasy comes from the connections I make and the experienced coincidences that I feel are significant.
My first mental breakdown involved a manic episode of creative writing which happened during the United State’s capture of Osama Bin Laden. For some reason, I believed that I somehow indirectly caused this chain of events to unfold. As my understanding of reality continued to fall apart, I was eventually taken to a mental hospital and ended up bunked in a room with a young man who was coincidentally named Osama Bin Laden. It wasn’t the same guy and I’m sure it isn’t a terribly uncommon name, but this and many other factors that were a part of my hospitalization experiences continue to persist as unresolved in my mind.
I’m doing much better in my life now and I’ve removed a lot of negative behaviors like drug abuse. The one thing that persists is my experience of coincidences which seem to convey the general feeling that “something meaningful is happening”, but I don’t have enough information to draw a logical conclusion from the input. It feels like my mind is just overly active in making connections and it can be very tiring to constantly give 100% of my focus all day to everything I do and hear with the idea that I’m getting closer to an unseen or otherwise inaccessible truth. Usually these lead toward religious ideas, but I think that’s because faith tends to “fill in the gap” for what isn’t known. This has it’s opposite end, conspiracy, which is as destructive of a force as doubt itself.
Do you experience the feeling of persistent coincidence, and how have you dealt with this feeling?
Funny how the force led me to that post above. I was trying to find a similar post of mine that I finally have the technical term for (which is Synchronicity by Carl Jung), and post about it.
Please read the link given above before reading my reply.
It’s funny how we, I and the TS are connected. Our experiences are. It formed some kind of circle in my mind! Most of the times they were lines. : P
Let me begin. In my onset of “paranoid schizophrenia”, that was in 2008, while at an expressway, with my parents, a thought came to my mind, that George Bush was the devil. That there would be a nuclear war between China and USA, and that China would win but would end the world. Then as we were going the hiway, I saw this black SUV in front of us, had me this thought that in it would be that that would influence the end of the world. So my instinct was to get out of our car and chase and stop that SUV. I jumped out of the car to chase the SUV (luckily my dad saw what I was up to and slowed down), ran and yelled like hell. I did my best to, but eventually the police got hold of me and brought me to the hospital. They administered a tranquilizer to me, and brought me to a psycho-social institution. I was asleep for 2 days. When I woke up, first thing I did was to the TV, and there was Bush in spotlight, in Beijing, watching the Olympics. Yep China and USA went to war, and the former did win it… but for Olypmic gold! : D
To add to that above, I knew there was some kind of war in Afghanistan, but was not aware of people calling Bush a devil for killing lots of people until the incident happened. I thought he was getting praises as my innocent mind thought. And I didn’t know that the Olympics was ongoing as I was too busy with my career. Also there were several more meaningful conincidences that happened to me during that time that involved God. But I think the above paragraph would suffice for now.
Posted: Dec 4, 2013 8:15 PM
Now that’s what I call a helluva coincidence. That should be put in the “Coincidence Hall of Fame”!
Since then there were a lot of other types of synchronicities that happened like that that involved the numbers 7, 17 and 143. These numbers has been chasing me like forever, and in various means - in plate numbers, while surfing the net, price tags, in jerseys etc. It’s funny that the above thread was posted at time 7:17 PM and one of those who replied had the Nickname “77nick77”, and today before this reply, about 3 times, 143 called my attention. Some call it Angel Numbers (which the interpretations I don’t subscribe to). I’m just happy to know that I’m not as crazy as I had thought, that a lot of “normal” people experience these conincidences too.
I came to the conclusion that bad handling of this FORCE could lead you to mental institution. It’s better to act normal as you can. Also it can cause you to be in some kind of hypnotism when it calls your attention to something. It can also tie you in an infinite problem solving which would exhaust your mind. And which would bring you to bizzare conclusions. Just treat the force as a normal part of everyday life. Everybody, even the whole planet is connected to it. And whenever it occurs, just remember you have free will, that you are not bound by any rules it suggests, including that of God. So you have to know your true values. Somehow althou I think I’m still connected to it, it gave me freedom of some kind from the connection. Also my delusions of persecution, and delusions of reference are gone. And I can think a lot better. Where before I thought those on TV are part of the plot. When actually we all are uknowingly. And you are not known to anything outside those of you have immediate relation to.
I also came to the conclusion, that some kind of collective consciousness (or driver if you will) governs all things, live or not ON EARTH - why just there? Cause the past week, it was showing off as I was telling my story to those who don’t believe me. They recognized what I was talking about as it called their attention too. Some of them had good laughs. And when I asked it for opinions on things, it does so, by doing so on TV, and thoughts of people around me. I felt like it was showing off or something. So to know if it also controls beyond earth, or the universe, I called it to give me another sign. It couldn’t like it normally does. It was bound on earth - that was my conclusion - so far : P . Suddendly, for some reason, my mind was in relative calmness. Also I choose intuitions which I truly believe in also as because you can get a lot. And the force forced me to know myself more. : D