Everything bad I’ve done or what’s happened to me is being brought up from the voices and now I remember it all and it’s distressing when the voices trigger it I can’t stop remembering and saying it how do I let it go
Do you maybe have some PTSD? Mindfulness exercises and meditation might help, if you feel up to it.
If you’re talking about intrusive thoughts where you remember everything stupid you’ve ever done, I get that too. What helps me is telling someone about the bad thing I remember. The other person usually reassures me hat it wasn’t really that bad, and that helps ease my mind a bit.
For example, when I was a kid, I had a friend who wore leg braces. Someone was picking on her and I tried to come to her defense by saying, “You can’t make fun of her, she’s crippled!” Well, that was way more offensive to my friend than the first person was, and she punched me right in the stomach and called me mean. I am still totally embarrassed that I accidentally said something so stupid. But now I just told you about it, and the memory has a bit less power over me.
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PTSD with sz is a bitch…I wish you a nice good distraction…
I don’t think I get this as bad as you do. I don’t hear voices.
But every so often, I get intrusive memories of things I’ve done that were bad. I find it distressing too.
I’ve just started trying something to stop the thoughts. I’m a very visual thinker, so when I get those thoughts, I picture in my mind a road block with a sign on it saying “thoughts blocked.”
So when I replay images of past mistakes I have made, I try to replace or overwrite the image with that of the roadblock. I also repeat in my head the words “thoughts blocked.”
I’ve only just started doing it so I’m not very good at it yet, but this is my attempt to gain some control over my mind.
It’s interesting to learn totally different ways to handle the same problem. I think my coping strategy came from my Catholic upbringing. “Oh, you did something bad? Well, just tell someone and then you will be forgiven.” It’s one of the very few things I have kept from that life.
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I think it’s brave to tell someone about it. I’m either too embarrassed or too ashamed.
It’s not bravery for me. It’s an ingrained impulse. Whenever I ■■■■ up my first instinct is to loudly proclaim my mistake to the relevant people. If I don’t, it twists me up inside until I can’t even focus on anything except what a monster I am. Then I tell someone, and instantly, the feeling goes away. Because, if this person knows what I did and they can still like me, maybe I’m not so bad after all.
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