Ahhhh. They’re in my head. It’s so much bs. It just never stops. Will this ■■■■ ever stop. I try not to believe but it just keeps going. These people really carry themselves like they are telepathic. I’m becoming more like them every day. I thought disbelief might finally work, but nope it made things worse. I just want to sleep.
Doesn’t it suck like you get to this point where you’re like “wow I’m basically normal now I think I’m done with this” and then you see or hear the wrong thing at the wrong time and everything goes to crap.
Things always get better again though. Maybe there’s no permanent solutions yet, but give it time.
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That’s pretty much the situation. It’s bs.
Dinner with the family and everything falls to ■■■■. I’m just gonna isolate myself for the night.
That’s hard, man. You do what you need to and don’t be hard on yourself about it.
Hello Bryan
I have had many discussions with you regarding your voices. You are a good person do not let the voices discourage you. You know yourself better then anyone and this is all you need to know to defeat their thoughts. Be strong and unwavering. I wish I could take your voices from you so badly, so you can be who you realy are. I bet that person is one hell of a guy.
Powessy
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Right on I’ve gotten pretty good at not caring. Today is a day of internal madness. Perhaps these head games will continue for the rest of my life. Eh, whatever. Tomorow will be another day, another chance. Really though I was gonna beat it this time, but no. Shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. It’s so unrealistic to believe.
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Thanks powessey. I’ve pretty much beaten the game by finding myself. It’s just a constant distraction.
Bryan, you need to realize even if they are real what they say is BS and does not matter. Take a stand and then tune out and see if they back off.
It’s ok to believe things could get better! You have no idea what the future is going to bring to the table…I mean heck back in cavemen days if you got a flipping cold you were doomed, small infection? Doomed. Meanwhile current day it’s not even problem with modern medicine.
My hope is that in the future it will be that way with mental illness too…and people will talk about how things like schizophrenia used to be such a serious diagnosis…I don’t think it’s wrong to give up hope. Just…be careful with it I suppose.
I try dude. That’s why I felt so close to finding clarity but they just keep talking. At least they keep it secret, for the most part. It is bs and I know this now. I just get worked up sometimes and start bouncing around. It’s good to be alone.
Bryan, try developing your alternative theories for when you do feel they are real. It just takes common sense. Even if they are real, does not mean what they say is true or that they mean anything. Based on common sense, they constitute as psychopaths and are trash.
Well for a solid day I was in the mindset there is just no way it can be real. I thought that might be enough. It does feel like it’s just in my head part of the time. Then it seems like it’s not. Its just really stupid at this point.
Right on dude. I’m unafraid now. It’s a waiting game. I clearly don’t deserve this anymore.
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You need to take the power back, Bryan. Even if they are real, they are the problem, not you. If they have a problem with you that is their problem and should not be yours. Some people like us go through this as teenagers and that constitutes as child abuse. They are therefore child abusers and are the lowest level of scum. Get on their case.
Enjoy those good days when you have them, then. Everyone has good and bad days, just…different definitions of what’s good and bad for different people.
Maybe you won’t be perfectly lucid every day, and that’s ok. The point is you’re still fighting, that’s what really matters.
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I’m fighting back a little unfortunately I can only imitate them. I’m not a very spontaneous dude. It’s like once it starts they just won’t quit to keep up the guise it’s a mental illness. Really it’s impossible. Everyone would have to be in on it or I’m a thought broadcaster. Both sound pretty unrealistic.
Or they could just be impersonating the people around you and still be real, Bryan. Think more logical and take away their power.
All this ■■■■ just happens in the background at this point. On the surface I’m totally normal. Im pretty lucid. Only time will tell if I can overcome this.
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Yeah perhaps, sometimes I start thinking there are just certain people who do this. But I don’t want to play the guessing game of who is and who’s not. It’s gotta be all or nothing. I understand the nature of it. I’m starting to know what’s me and what’s a product of the disease.