I am either depressed or manic, but never neutral. This is what my mom said to me.
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I’m sza depressive type and my depression is easily controlled by 10 mg of Lexapro, which is a low dose. I also take 100 mg of Lamictal as a mood stabilizer.
I don’t have issues with the depression part of my diagnosis, it’s the sz symptoms that bother me even on a high dose AP.
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They say I’m sza bipolar type but my hypomanic episodes are few and far between. Mostly I’m just depressed constantly…I wish they made injectable antidepressants since my docs won’t give me any more orals…too many ODs lately. I have to gain their trust back and maybe then they’ll let me back on. My psychotic symptoms are mostly voices, lack of self care and motivation. Of course, that’s on meds…things are much more vibrant when I’m not on aps.
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My mom says I am manic, which I’m nearly 100% certain is not true. I mean I’ve always been a little excitable, but mood-wise I feel fine. I am starting to get frustrated with the voices in my mind though, telling me not to stop believing in my theories and telling me to stop taking my meds. The thing is, the more I talk to my mom about this, the less confident I feel. I think no one knows what they’re doing, they’re just trying to medicate me.
@Sardonic, I’m sza bipolar type and as of the last seven years, I have had no depression or mania. But, I still get infrequent, breakthrough psychotic symptoms of paranoia and audible hallucinations. And the negatives of low motivation and cognitive symptoms. My AP’s are really controlling my moods well. And hat’s off to Celexa.
When you are manic, do you know you’re manic? I’m getting frustrated because I’m not manic, but my mom keeps saying I am. I think no one knows what the hell they’re doing. They’re just throwing meds at me.
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@Sardonic, When I’m manic, I have zero awareness of it. I have no insight into my mania. I have to rely on others to tell me that I’m manic. And I hate it that others know more about me than I do sometimes. I just hate that.
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I find it hard to be happy unless I am manic. But I am mostly depressed
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@SkinnyMe my mom says that my psychotic symptoms go with my mood. Based on what she says my psychotic symptoms are, that would mean that I am perpetually in a mood episode because my supposed psychotic symptoms don’t stop. Is this possible?
I’m sorry you are so depressed. I hope it gets better. 
Thankyou. I hope so too
no they never stop, ever, The roller coaster from hell.
I’m diagnosed schizoaffective depressive. On the BP side. I worry more about my sz. Getting out of control.
@Sardonic that’s what the lithium is for. I.e. to stop the mood swings. You’re just starting it from what I remember.
My mind won’t shut off. It never stops for me either. It would be easier I think if I trusted these people, but I don’t. Not knowing whether they think I have sza or bipolar disorder is ■■■■■■■with me. I think they are just throwing meds at me.
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They didn’t stop, but it helped when my social life got better. Being with friends, knowing new crushes… Those things helped me a lot 
I also had a raise on my meds, it also helped
Before medication I went from being eh to horrible eh to horrible and if I was really lucky and things were awesome, then I was “ok” to horrible. Can’t say I ever really had mania.
Now my mood is pretty normal and good most of the time!
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Im like an artificial normie. My moods are just like a normie (stable, low fluctuation except hypomania, calm)
However, like I said, I feel like it’s artificial. My true self off of medication is simply not suitable for this life. Maybe I’ll experience remission one day and stay stable.
Who knows
My mom said sza and bipolar disorder are the same thing. Is that true?
My mood symptoms are under control with my meds - amisulpride controls the hypomania/mixed episodes, and olanzapine controls the depression. So i have normal mood most of the time now.