I was just wondering how many of you with SZA currently have psychotic sx? Or if your mood disorder is more predominate?
Mood disorder more prominent. They still don’t know if I have bipolar disorder because of the chronic nature of my depression. Currently no psychotic symptoms for 1 year. On major antidepressants and a small amount of latuda. This is a ■■■■■■■aweful illness. The psychosis is mind blowing literally and the depression is crippling. I’ve had this for 15 years.
I hate it!
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Thanks @MeghillaGorilla1. I saw a new therapist Tuesday and she explained a little that I haven’t heard before. I too am not sure if I’m BP or just depression, but haven’t had a psychotic sx for about 2.5-3 years. Yeah the depression is crippling cause when I am without it I can somewhat function.
I’m sza and I have always had psychotic symptoms. Mainly paranoia, delusions of reference and audible hallucinations. My psychotic symptoms have always been most prominent. Right now, I have no mood symptoms. Thrice daily fish oil, daily yoga, and twice daily meditation eliminates any mood symptoms.
For me mood is more prominent and a lot less stable. I haven’t had a psychotic episode in well over a year but just got out of my last depressive episode 2 months ago. It wasn’t always that way but it’s how it is now.
I typically have episodes and then no symptoms after they get under control. I live in fear of the episodes and also have crippling debilitating anxiety and depression. In between episodes therapists tell me that they think I’ve been misdiagnosed, that’s what my therapist said today. She said she thinks I have OCD and that I think I’m going crazy. She obviously hasn’t seen me in the throes of an episode.
My doctor tells me that I’m not “garden Variety” too.
But whatever I have the psychosis is so disabling and the depression is so bad that my life literally ended at 24. I cannot function like a normal person I cannot communicate with strangers. I have no self esteem or confidence. I’ve literally been ground down to a pulp by psychosis. I think I have brain damage from using drugs is what I think and it isn’t schizoaffective and it isn’t sz but it damn sure isn’t a mood disorder so they tell me I have sza.
Hey @Anna how’s it going. Do you mind if I ask you if you take atypicals. It sounds kinda like we have some similar issues and I’m wondering what will happen in the future. My mood is totally unstable, deeply depressed. But the doctor tells me that she thinks the psychosis stems from untreated depression for many years. I have all sorts of cognitive issues too. My mind is at like 25%. I’m told by her that those too will go away when the depression “lifts”. Does any of this sound familiar to you? I was given a diagnosis of sza in the hospital but this lady is like a guru and says that it’s bipolar disorder. I feel like they all want to make it sound less severe to appeal to their patient.
No I hate antipsychotics which is why I’m not on them anymore. They basically gave me another mental disorder. I was having anxiety and panic attacks daily, akesthesia that made me suicidal, rapidly gaining weight, having all kinds of hormonal and vitamin issues, lost ability to orgasm etc. It was an all around nightmare being on them. I went on them shortly after coming out of my last psychotic episode because it was so distressing but after a year I couldn’t take it anymore and quit them and I’ve been pretty fine. Been off them since last august and no more episodes have occurred.
My depression also went untreated for years…started getting symptoms at 10, my first major episode at 12 and I didn’t start antidepressants until I was 19. I don’t have anything against ADs really. I had a really good experience w Zoloft, gave me no bad side effects. They are very mild to be on compared to antipsychotics. It worked pretty well for me.
As for the lifting thing my brain becomes all kinds of messed up when I’m badly depressed so I agree a lot of things can improve once you’re out of the episode, including cognitive function. (I can actually pay attention in class this semester, which is nice)
The mood disorder aspect is definitely the worst. I know when the moods hit but when the psychosis pop up I seem to have a harder time recognizing it but I’m getting better at knowing the signs.
That’s incredible! I’m happy for you that you have been able to ditch the APs. They are the worst disgrace to medicine that I’ve ever encountered.
I have been on (a low dose) of latuda for the last year and I’m stable and psychosis free but my quality of life basically sucks. I can’t do the things I used to be interested in. Exercise, forget it. Sex, no interest, not happening. I’ve also completely lost interest in looking good, dressing nice and socializing. All because of latuda. Fortunately my doctor believes that depression has been causing the psychosis so I guess depression can be really bad! Especially if it’s been untreated it gets entrenched in your personality and you don’t even know it’s there. I totally agree with you that the ADs are much better and easier to tolerate than the APs. I can put up with 5 lbs of extra weight and maybe a little lethargy if it helps me not want to stay in bed all day. I have yet to find any redeeming qualities for anti psychotics though.
Its really a shame that people have to take them for life. Im praying that I’m not one of them.
Thanks for your reply. Good luck with school
Yeah my therapist said that we could try treating just the depression in case it was causing the psychosis. Latuda was the med I was on that gave me akesthesia so bad I almost drove into oncoming traffic to end it. Yikes. My therapist said she actually thinks it made me more crazy.
Thanks for the luck wish, good luck to you too, I hope you can find stability on just antidepressants as well.
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Wow! Akithisia is bad news. I live with a low grade version of it every day. It’s like a hitch in my upper left thigh area that I can’t iron out. It’s crazy. I can just feel it obliterating the frontal lobes of my brain.
thanks to you too. I will literally be dancing in the streets if I can stop taking this latuda!
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I’m sza. When I’m not on any meds, I’m extremely paranoid and a mindreader, which is pure misery, let me tell you. I have vivid, florid visual and auditory hallucinations and paranoid delusions. I also have very vivid, terrible olfactory hallucinations. I also get depressed and suicidal at times. Other times, I get hyper and manic. And the moods have no relations to the psychoses.
Now that I am properly medicated, my only symptoms are generalized anxiety and religious delusions of reference. I can live with this.
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I’ve been told that I have schizoaffective disorder by two very good hospitals but the thing is, I’ve never not been depressed, so my current doctor tells me that she thinks I’m bipolar that has never been treated properly. I have no psychosis when I’m on 40 mg of latuda but I’m seriously depressed and overwhelmed from having 8 schizophrenic like psychotic episodes. I honestly don’t know what to believe. I’ve had all the delusions, all the paranoia, all the hallucinations, but as my mood improves they seem to get farther and farther away.
I suffer constantly though even though I might not be psychotic. I suffer more than a person with bipolar disorder does. And I’m pretty much disabled by the illness where people with bipolar disorder tend to function better. I’m at a loss, that’s why I asked. I’m hoping to take less antipsychotics really that’s the only reason that I care.