I was diagnosed Schizoaffective Bipolar Type and OCD.
I’m not sure if I want to accept this. I feel fine. I think I’m just depressed.
I had my first “psychotic” break when I was 14. It was after playing the ouija board. Thought I was possessed by a demon.
I haven’t had anything that severe since then. Hallucinations? I think it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I stopped taking antipsychotics because I gained a ton of weight on them. I only take Wellbutrin and Lexapro.
My family was my biggest stressor. I stopped talking to them over a year ago and I feel so much better. I feel great. Which is why I’m thinking it’s just depression.
I’m starting to think the “psychosis” I had when I was 14 was real. After years of tellling myself it’s just in my head, a childhood friend is convincing me that I’m not crazy and that I can sense ghosts and stuff. My aunt told me before that my great grandmother was a seventh sister of seven sisters and she had psychic powers. Which is why, I can sense good or evil in people I meet. This has been proven a few times where people liked a certain person and I knew they were evil and it turned out they were.
I don’t know I think about it again and try not to say it to someone or I’ll scare them away.
I’m always getting responses like “okay…lol” from others and such. I try not to say much or I’ll freak someone else.
I’m having an issue right now.
My friend from school seems to be teaming up with people that I don’t like and maybe they are talking about me. My other friend is now being friends with my other friend (confusing sorry lol) and now I feel like they are teaming up. I have this weird fear that all these people are plotting to do something big to cause problems with me, so I’ve been staying off social media.
I made this account for anonymity to talk about my deeper problems I know I can’t talk to anyone about.
I’m not sure if I want to believe my diagnosis. I think I’m fine. I’m just weird and socially awkward.
your story sounds very familiar! I was in a similar way not too long ago and probably a lot of other people here have at some point.
It sounds to me that you should be taking your meds to save yourself from brain damage and possibly embarrassing symptoms. I can tell you that no one has supernatural powers or a sixth sense. I fully believed (because my aunt told me) that my great grandmother had fairy blood and that I was part fairy which explained the coincidences and magical phenomena that I kept experiencing. I used to get depressed when I wasn’t taking my meds and for a little while after. I’m also socially awkward. I thought my friends were plotting against me as well. I have schizophrenia.
So nice how family and friends even implant ideas in your head. That’s what fed my psychosis the first time with the possession. My cousin thought it was a game and kept feeding the thoughts saying I was possessed and stuff. Then I end up inpatient.
I’m embarrassed.
My family swears I do drugs and it hurts. All throughout my teenage years I kept being accused of doing drugs. Even when I psychiatrist tells them otherwise, they refused to bring me to the doctor. I finally seek help on my own since I live on my own. I got the diagnosis December 2014 (19 years old). I tried explaining to them my situation. They now accuse me of going to the doctor to get pills. I stopped talking to them over a year ago and I feel better without them causing unnecessary stress. They have their own issues that they deny.
If I were you I wouldn’t entertain those thoughts that any of the bizarre stuff is real. I mean, if we were all right on here in our delusions wouldn’t everyone be magical or the center of some government plot? Just think, we can’t all be right. Normal people find bizarre ideation repellant in a person, it just screams “don’t befriend me, I am weird”.
It sounds like your family does have issues. That’s really sad. It can be hard for people to understand mental illness a lot of the time. I hope one day your family understands and offers you the support you need.
Hello and welcome to the site. I’m sorry you’re having so many troubling symptoms right now. Try to remember that these thoughts and feelings are symptoms of your disease. Some people are capable of maintaining an interest in the supernatural without letting it rule their lives. It doesn’t sound like you’re capable of finding that balance. I’m not either. I had to firmly shut the door on that whole line of thinking in order to find recovery. It is better this way.
I’m sorry you don’t have support from your family. That’s hard. But it sounds like you have a very healthy attitude towards the situation.
Hi there! I’m SZA Bipolar type and female also. I have generalized anxiety. The symptoms anyway, if not the anxiety disorder. I have been diagnosed with Sza for the last 23 years. It’s not so bad. It can be overcome. I am fully recovered, on medications. I take: Risperdal Consta injections, Geodon oral, Seroquel oral, and Celexa. For the anxiety, I take Hemp oil oral spray twice a day, and I meditate for 15 minutes twice a day, everyday. This all seems to work great for me. Good luck to you!!