Hi everyone! I need some advice, and I think this type of forum is right to best found the best answers.
I’m a 30 year old female and I have had regular contact with psych for 5 years. Through this years I’ve been diagnosed with: bipolar type II, then schizoaffective disorder. When I get SzA diagnosed, I was to a psychosis ward for patients with this kind of problems. The doctor I got said very fast that I wasn’t schizoaffective, but I was apparently bipolar, so the doctor change the diagnosed back to bipolar type II.
Even this diagnos was removed (bipolar) and they set recurring depression and anxiety problems on me instead.
Now some time later, I went to a new doctor (psychiatrists) and told him about my symptoms and all careless doctors who change my medication all the time because nothing really help. The new doctors jaw dropped to the floor, and confirmed that my symtoms are typical for SzA.
What do you guys think? Because I’m all confused how they treat me in Psych, and every doctor say a different thing.
My symptoms:
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Very isolated. I have no friends. I’ve a hard time to trust people. It feels like everybody has something against me, but my husband is very often say to me that it isn’t the case, but I still think it is.
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This is hard to explain, but it often feels like my brain is all empty. Empty of thoughts, words and emotions. Though I get very easly angry and furious, often for no reason at all.
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A lot of delusion thoughts. I often think that when I hear my neighbours talking (thin walls) I think they always talking about me, and always when they laugh, they laugh at me. Those times I’m outside, it feels like everyone I met is talking about me. Sometimes I even feel supervised through my phone, computer or TV.
A very strong thought that I’ve had is that some program on TV is mainly produced to mess with me, and get me angry or sad. Same thing is some reports in the magazine and in the newspaper. For exemple: if there are bad news in the newspaper, it feels like it pointed against me. If it stand that someone has died or been in an accident, a celebrity or politican for exemple, I get panic and think that I’m going to be in an accident or die very soon or that a loved one in my family is going to be in an accident or die. I have no Facebook (I had it, but no longer) Instagram or Twitter because it feels like everyone there is going to know everything about me, and the few friends I have on my friendlist is not my family or “friends” but instead spies that spy on me, and that everyone else on Facebook has the Facebook for spy on me. I couldn’t block almost 50-60 unknown people a day when I was afraid they could see through my phone or computer.
- No hallucinations what I think, but load thoughts. Sometimes it feels like I can hear my own thoughts, and it scare me because if I hear it, then everyone else must hear them too.
Well, this was kind of “piece of cake” of how my problems looks like. I know you can not diagnose someone through the internet, but what do you guys think? Of my own experience of “amateur psychology”, this not really sound just like depression and anxiety that psych says.
Hoping for some answers and clarity.
Thanks!