I hope God understands through all my confusion with this on what the right thing to do is-- He will stop me from going to hell. Like because I wasn’t sure on what the right thing to do was. And hopefully allow me the clarity and safety for the future.
Like I hope my confusion is the justification. But I’m worried if I brought that upon myself then it wouldn’t be justified. But I and my family really think I have struggled with these mental issues enough that I didn’t bring it all upon myself. I struggled with these things even before I started abusing adderall.
I hope God understands my struggles and the reasons why I held back from moving away and I hope that is enough.
I did Religion at GCSE and we were taught God is omni benevolent meaning all loving.
If that is the case, I don’t see why he would take you to hell.
I’m just worried I’m like Pharaoh–I’m so bad that I don’t know what the right thing to do anymore is.
Or maybe I have too high of a standard for myself. I’m not perfect but expect myself to make perfect decisions.
You’ve been on this forum for a while and I don’t think you seem ‘so bad’.
Just be honest with yourself… And you will be fine… Hopefully
I just feel if I moved away it would have been a good precaution. Like just in case something bad happens to me. I can’t see any reasons why anything would go wrong if I did this.
My only reasons I’m not moving away is laziness and weight gain from meds. Also it isn’t easy since someone is always home. Also I can’t do things secretly because someone always intercepts my mail if I was to get a passport and I would have to sneak out to order one and I just don’t feel like doing these things. I feel like I’m going to hell for my laziness.
You are right I think you are making things more hard for yourself than you need to.
But feel free to move to another country purely if you feel you would like to, to seek a better job etc…
But it can be stressful
Maybe you can be alright in your current country
You are not lazy you are just being too hard on yourself. Honestly you are unwell atm, you should try not to think about moving, but just taking things easy
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I’m just worried that all the voices and visions I had were maybe not psychosis but maybe government agents through satellite telling me my fate. Supposedly politicians hear voices too. But I was seeing things on the floor too I think. But still what if I’m just like those politicians?
Who said politicians hear voices. I don’t think this is true.
I read somewhere that some politicians hear voices.
I don’t think it’s true. You really got to be careful what sources you read. A lot of things on the Internet are not reliable.
Ok got it. But there is the hearing voices network where normal people hear voices.
All I know is when I was hearing voices I was not functional. I was just laying in bed almost frozen.
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Yea I’m a normal person but then I started hearing voices one day 
I’ve heard of that website too.
It’s just I wonder if I’m not sza just like that website says you don’t have to be psychotic to hear voices. But I think I know I was psychotic just don’t know if I’m sza.
Best to discuss that with a professional psychiatric doctor… I’m not qualified to know… I don’t want to give you false information.
My boyfriend wants me to see a psychiatrist he picked out and consulted with who he is paying 5000 dollars for. He says we will win in court so my parents don’t get guardianship. The psychiatrist says that he wants to run these tests so that we will win. He says this all without talking to me first since my boyfriend convinced him that I don’t have any problems. I don’t plan to discuss my delusional thoughts so I will seem fine too. So this makes me doubt myself even more.
Sorry I’m really confused, from the gist of what I’m hearing it sounds dodgy. Perhaps call your nearest hospital about an actual psychiatrist who will diagnose you properly… You can’t deny your illness or else you will get more unwell…
This doesn’t sound like beneficial behavior @flowers20. Untreated psychosis is brain damage and will lead to bigger problems. You already seem to be unable to think outside and obsess about delusional things. You need to see a proper psychiatrist and to tell them what you are thinking.