@Malvok created a thread about support. I want to carry that off on a different tangent. I want to talk about the support we have in our lives. The main source of support I have in my life is my wife. She was there for me when I was at my worst, and still is today. I don’t know if I am entirely deserving of her support, as for a period of time I accused her of poisoning my food and drink, I accused her of monitoring me for the “powers that be” (Bilderberg etc), I have told my son to pack and get ready to leave because she was going to have me killed.
I read in Malvok’s thread that you are not supposed to argue with someone who is delusional. She will argue with me. But she does this as a last resort. What she usually does if my thinking is off kilter, is she uses a process, that a retired mental health nurse calls redirection. She gets me talking about something I am interested in such as hammock camping or literature, and while this might not work for everyone, it works for me. After a while of running my mouth about camping stoves or the examples of heroism in Homer’s epics, most of the time I forget what was on my mind. I guess it is because of the meds. Because before there was no convincing me my delusions weren’t reality.
Most of the time my wife stands beside me. But sometimes she gets behind and pushes or out front and pulls if she needs to. She is the sweetheart when ever she can be, but is not afraid to initiate a “come to Jesus” meeting, if I need it. I trust her with my money and, I would trust her with my life.
My son is also there to support me. If he notices anything odd about me, he is quick to report it to my wife. He is just 14, and I hate he has to grow up with a father with schizophrenia. At my worst, I would not let him watch TV, because I could hear the “secret messages” that were designed to hypnotize him to turn away from me. I did not want him to play video games because Satan was the head of the whole industry. I am glad I got better so he does not miss out on too much of his childhood. He is the inspiration for me to do better. I want to be a good father, and I can’t do that ill.
The other important woman in my life (As is every other southern man’s) is my mom. I put her through sheer hell when I became homeless and she did not know where I was, or if I was even alive. For nine months she worried about me. If I wont listen to my wife, I always listen to Momma.
That is enough about me. Where do you get your support from? And how do they support you? What makes the people in your life special?
I get financial support from the government. I get physical support from my provider who sees to it that I never miss a meal. I get social support from my friends at the gym. I get spiritual support from my interest in the Bahai Faith.
Family - father in North Carolina. Only see once a year. Not something I can really go to for support. Brother- most likely to be supportive but haven’t seen him or talked to him for 8 months. He’s replied to 2 letters but won’t answer his phone. Lives about 90 minutes away.
Sister- has busy job and family . Hardly ever see her or talk to her. Also lives about 90 minutes away.
Oldest step daughter- nice enough but not someone to go to for support. Lives nearest but busy running cafe.
Youngest step daughter - more supportive but lives 3-3.5 hours away and not someone I can just pop round to for support.
No befriender, community nurse(cpn), social worker etc. Had support workers for a while but that was time limited and has ended along with temporary social worker involvement…
I dont have any real reliable support - No friends - no support. My parents are elderly and my father makes things worse for me many times, aggravating my symptoms. My brother lives close by but he is too busy and not very supportive, he to makes things worse for me many times. My extended family live pretty far from me and they are too busy with thier families/lives. My therapist is not so supportive - she goes through the motions.
I guess I am pretty much on my own - thank God I am pretty stable or I would be in trouble
My family has been very supportive of me. They help me out financially and urge me to try to do for myself more. But they’re always so busy these days. I find it hard to keep up like they want me to. They still see me as the same person I was before I got I’ll.
Number one support, head of my crisis team and the “Q” to my James Bond is my kid sis. Last child and only girl… Born when I was 11 and has been by my side / on my side in one way or another ever since.
She’s 18 now and shares an apartment with me. I’ve added a huge flavor of chaos to her childhood and because of me… she hardly had a childhood. For a while… she was the only reason why I stayed med compliant and went to therapy.
She tries not to argue with me when I hit some sneaky brained thinking. But… caregivers are only human and they get frustrated and run out of ideas too.
When I was going through a phase thinking I was a Zen master and going to start a temple… she actually supported that idea and wanted me to plan it out… I’m horrible at planning tasks so the more I tried to plan it… the worse it got and I ended up dropping the idea.
She has used redirection and gentle reasoning. But when I get too out there about certain things… my sis will dig her heal in and get a bit blunt.
The second is my Parents. My Mom and Dad are still married to each other and they still help me make heads or tails out of stuff like budgeting, legal documents, taxes. They are also part of my crisis team. My Mom and Dad have been through hell do to my illness, drug abuse and period of homelessness. I have younger brothers who are also beginning to repair a friendship with me.
Third, my Dad also comes from a huge family and I have so many Uncles, Aunts, Cousins.
Beyond the family I have a friend from my childhood who has come back into my life and I have a girlfriend who’s favorite Uncle had Sz and so she’s familiar with what sort of teeth Sz has.
I consider myself very lucky to have such a large circle support. I keep telling people there is an entire preservation team that helps get me through my days. I’m lucky I have them.
I take care of my father and he takes care of me in return.
Sometimes I just cannot keep ‘new experience’ in my head, so if it is computer discussion, I will go to Microsoft technical web forum. If it is illness or anything moody, I will come to here. If I am happy, I will go to share my happiness using my mother tongue on local forum. If I need to show creativity, I will create or update my blogs… Forum is my secondary source of support.
Thanks for that redirection technique! My son actually does that himself when he gets agitated.
im afraid my son has mostly me for all around support. My sister has been contributing financially for the past 3 years. Just today, I called my sons dad for the first time in awhile. He agreed to maybe have a meeting with me, his wife, and our 2 daughters about trying to form a tighter core around my son. This is HUGE for me! Our family has been divided since C. became ill. My dream is for all of us to come together in his behalf-and for all of us to start healing…
@riddled , this is a great thread. Without support it’s hard . Our son who is 29 is doing better because of support from his parents. I left my job, ever since he came to live with us, back in college and doing very well with studies. Universities are expensive and We pay for everything for him even though he has his own money. His sister is very supportive but she lives 2 hours away. His older brother is also very caring and they have great conversations. I cook for him everyday, except laundry everything is done for him since I am home I don’t mind doing it. Having a cleaning lady is a plus as his room needs constant cleaning .I open windows for fresh air when he is in college. If there is someone to take care of you then over time even though you are ill, you realize how much you have accomplished with having people around you. I have told him , even after he moves and if he feels he needs us, he can come and live with us. I avoid arguing with him, if he is angry for some small stuff , I try to hug him and say its OK, let’s not talk about it. He needs us and We feel better having him with us.